How to Stop Divorce: Find Out Exactly What To Do

Before you find out what you need to do to try to stop divorce, you must understand that in just about every state, you cannot stop a divorce by yourself if your spouse is determined to get one.

In addition, here are three strategies that you need to avoid if you want to stop divorce:

1. Giving reassurance, such as “I've changed. I won't have another affair. I won't lie to you anymore.” This strategy never works.

2. Telling him/her repeatedly, “I love you.” This strategy also does not work.

3. Arguing and trying to talk him/her into feeling different. This strategy does not work as well.

So what you can do to stop divorce?

The biggest secret is that you need to work at your relationship. You must persistently work at having pleasant relationship. By no means should you take your relationship for granted.

Many outside factors (job, finances, illness or inattention) have huge influence on relationships. You goal should be to deal with these factors.

Here are three steps to stop divorce.

1. Husband and wife should come to an understanding that an outside factor is the most important cause.

2. Husband and wife should create a reasonable plan for solving the problem. A thorough plan must engage both of spouses.

3. Make the plan happen. Engage the whole family if needed.

Here are some tips that will help you have a good relationship.

- Communicate with your spouse. Talk about things that bother you, using the word "we" a lot.

- Spend more time together doing things you each like to do.

- Think twice before you say something.

- Do not shout a hard criticism.

About the Author:
Alex Fir shares a wealth of information on his website Divorce Information Center. If you want to learn more about divorce help visit his site right now.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

The Importance of Choosing the Right Divorce Lawyer

Choosing the right divorce attorney may have a huge long-term impact when it comes to coping with divorce, as financial stress may be lessened if you receive sound divorce advice. Therefore, hiring a competent professional attorney can mean the difference between a low-cost divorce and drawn-out divorce proceedings that seem to have no end in sight.

In fact, throughout the process toward a divorce settlement, your lawyer should be your best source of divorce information. He or she will consult with you about the rights of your child, whether or not you will be entitled to receive alimony, division of assets and liabilities, and so much more. Your attorney will explain everything you need to know about how to get a divorce.

If you are a wife with a particularly sensitive situation and are in need of the best divorce help, seek out an attorney who is familiar the issues dealing with women and divorce. Alternately, if you are the husband in the divorce case and you are worried that you may be taken advantage of, do your best to find an attorney who specializes in divorce for men.

Selecting a lawyer or attorney to represent you in a divorce case may be the most important divorce decision you will make. If you receive outstanding divorce support from your lawyer, it may end up being an easy divorce. Surely, you are looking forward to living life after divorce. The right attorney will help you get there the fastest while saving the most money!

Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com a great online source for finance information.

About the Author:
Nathan Dawson
Submitted on 2005-10-05
Article Source: http://www.ArticlesAlley.com/

Child Custody Evaluation

A can be ordered by a court if you are involved in a custody dispute with your spouse. The custody evaluation can be required in an initial custody case or in a subsequent case if one of the parents requests that the issue of custody be modified. If you are seeking primary custody of your child, you'll want to know the guidelines for the child custody evaluation that you will have to undergo. To some extent, these guidelines vary from state to state, so you will need to discuss the child custody evalutaion process with your attorney or your state family court.

In general, a child custody evaluation involves a series of meetings between the parents and children and a professional who will assess the custody issue. Sometimes that professional is a psychologist. Sometimes it is a professional with an Masters and sometimes a Doctorate degree. In some states the professional simply investigates and reports the details of the investigation to the court. In other states, the professional doing the child custody evaluation actually gives the court a recommendation as to how custody should be determined.

The manner in which a child custody evaluation is used by a court can also vary from state to state. In some states, the judges put a higher priority on the wishes of the children and that issue is addressed in the custody evaluation. In some of those states, the child's wishes are considered if the child has attained a certain age. InIllinois, the child's wishes is a key factor. In other states, it is only one factor or not a factor at all. In Alabama, a chid's desire is not considered as a reliable factor in determininig custody, so the factors to be given priority over the child's wishes in the child custody evaluation are more focused on the well being an safety of the child.

A child custody evaluation can involve an investigation into moral habits and issues such as alcohol or drug use, church affiliation and family support system. Other issues that can and often are reviewed in a custody evaluation include factors that are unrelated to moral habits, but which are more focused on the determining which parent can satisfy the child's needs, include the ability to provide an appropriate home, school support, and so forth.

A child custody evaluation can take months to conclude. The investigation aspects can include a review of any existing counseling records for the family, either or both parents, or the children, any mental health records for any of those parties, any criminal records, school records for the children, and one or more interviews with each parent and child and any other individual that the court deems appropriate. For example, if a companion or significant other is living with a parent, that person could have an impact on the day to day lives of the children. The court may want that person included in the child custody evaluation. Some of the evaluation interviews are conducted individually, and some are conducted with parent and children together. That format is dictated by the professional conducting the custody evaluation.

If you are involved in a custody dispute and you will be involved in a child custody evaluation, speak with your attorney about the process that you and your children will be subjected to. Be prepared and open and provide all of the information that is requested of you. Most of all, find out what you are able to say to the children to prepare them for the interviews that they will have to attend.

About the author:
Jean Mahserjian is an attorney and the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of divorce. To download free excerpts from her divorce and custody books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com
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Joint Bank Accounts And The Problem Of Divorce

If you are in the unfortunate situation of getting divorced, then you may be wondering how to sort out your joint bank accounts. Whether the divorce is amicable or not, it is important that you both agree on how to split the monetary funds in your joint accounts so that you both get a fair deal. Here is some advice on how to handle joint bank accounts and the problem of divorce.

Freezing accounts

If you ware worried about funds in the account being removed, then you can get a freeze placed on the account which requires both parties to give permission before any money is removed. Although this may be a good temporary solution to avoid money being removed, it will obviously harm both of you if no money can be released. However, it is a good point to start from and ensures that the account remains untouched and there is motivation on both sides to solve the situation.

50/50 split

If the divorce is amicable and you feel that you are both of an equal financial standing, then the easiest way to sort out the problem of joint accounts is for one person to open a new account and deposit half of the money into that account. The other partner can then change the joint account to a single account, thus leaving each of you with half the money in the account. This is the quickest and easiest way to sort out any problems, but is not always possible if you are of different financial standings and an agreement cannot be reached.

Don’t leave the situation

Although you might think the situation will sort itself out, if your ex partner removes all of the money from the account and liquidates it without your knowledge, you could be left in serious financial trouble. Although you should be able to get the money back through the divorce settlement process, this could take months and leave you short of funds in the meantime. Whatever you do, make sure that you don’t just leave the situation to sort itself out.

Credit cards

If you hold joint credit cards, then it is important that you cancel your card and inform the bank in writing that you want to be removed from the credit card account due to impending divorce and that you will not be held responsible for any extra debts that are accumulated. Obviously, you will both still be responsible for any current debts, but make sure that anything your ex partner spends is not your concern. This applies to other bills such as phone bills etc.

Safety deposit boxes

Perhaps the hardest type of joint monetary asset to control is a safe deposit box. If one or both of you is self-employed then you might keep money in a safety deposit box. If you get divorced then there is no stopping one of you from emptying the box and leaving the other person with nothing. As soon as divorce is a possibility you should try and get the box frozen so that neither you nor your partner can access it on their own. If your bank won’t comply then take photos of the contents and get someone to sign it to confirm the contents in case they are removed. If you can remain civil with each other and take the necessary precautions, then you can both end up with the right amount of money from your joint accounts should divorce occur.

About the Author:
Peter Kenny is a writer for The Thrifty Scot. Please visit us at Best Bank Accounts and Savings Accounts Visit www.thriftyscot.co.uk
Article Submitted On: October 11, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

So You're Going through a Divorce! Should You Get Counseling?

I am a psychologist and marriage counselor in the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Lake in the Hills and Crystal Lake area of Illinois. I find that there are 11 signs that indicate you or your family members would benefit from counseling when going through a divorce or separation.

What are these signs?

1. A relationship that is characterized by numerous arguments and conflicts that are disruptive to the emotional status of family members

2. A relationship which is saturated with strain, bitterness and tension just below the surface

3. When the talk of separation causes fear and anxiety in family members which significantly degrades the quality of daily life

4. The childrens uncertainty and worry about which ones will remain in the family home and which ones will re-locate

5. Children experiencing excessive stress, agitation, acting-out or conflict about being separated from a parent or sibling

6. Parents who should be separated but are still living under the same roof because of logistical or financial problems, thus causing increased coldness and estrangement in the home

7. Conflicts, arguments and frustration caused by a seriously compromised lifestyle engendered by financial stress caused by the expense of operating two households

8. Symptoms of acting-out, depression, anxiety, fear, rage, substance abuse or poor school performance in family members

9. Anger, bitterness, arguments and frustration caused by having to accommodate new step-parents, step-children or step-siblings

10. Child management and discipline problems that result from single parenting or lack of cooperation from the ex-spouse

11. Children that appear to be experiencing some guilt or anxiety for the marital failure

If you experience any of these issues, you can benefit from counseling. But if you begin, what can your counseling accomplish? How will it benefit you?

1. You will learn how to nurture your kids and reassure them that they are still loved and not responsible for the marital discord.

2. You will learn to develop flexible living arrangements that meet your kids needs.

3. If you and your partner are still living together, practical and clear guidelines will be set-up to keep the situation from getting more toxic.

4. You will discover how to integrate new additions to the family resulting from remarriage or cohabitation.

5. You will develop a plan for cooperative parenting that keeps you and your former spouse on the same page so conflicts can be minimized.

6. Your children will learn to accept the break-up as independent from anything they have ever said or done.

7. Your therapist may prescribe daily affirmations or motivating thoughts so that your subconscious mind really believes that you do not have to worry about the separation. When your subconscious believes it, your everyday mind will follow and the anxiety will disappear

10. The therapist may prescribe some articles or books for you to read about surviving divorce and ask that you select relevant concepts to discuss in your counseling session.

11. Your therapist will likely help you to develop an awareness of your fear of independence triggers and constructive ways to manage them.

12. You may be asked to write about how your unsatisfactory marriage contributed to your anxieties and those of your family members and how your divorced state may enhance your emotional recovery and that of your children.

13. Your therapist will assist you in developing insight into any personal or career changes that may be needed in order to maximize the success of your newly separated living situation.

15. You may be encouraged to increase your awareness of how your upbringing may have affected the way you behave in relationships. Often a traumatic past may linger or even lurk into your present, thereby encouraging a pattern of dysfunctional relationships.

16. In helping you to manage a traumatic past, your therapist may help you identify the role you played in your family of origin, the feelings associated with it and the way it may impact your current or future relationships.

17. The therapist may help you to identify self-defeating patterns relevant to the way you operate in relationships and suggest ways of modifying them so they are not repeated.

18. You will identify sources of ongoing support and reassurance to help you in effectively curtailing and managing your anxiety about starting anew.

About the Author:
Dr Mike Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's an expert marriage counselor and psychologist. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt or learn more about counseling at: http://www.nextdayappointment.com
Submitted: 2006-09-07
Article Source: GoArticles

Going your Separate Ways: How Divorce Can Ruin Your Good Credit

In the event of a divorce, many couples do not realize that it is necessary for both individual's future to consider the changes that may occur in their credit rating. Despite the reasons for the divorce, it is important to take care of financial business before you go your separate ways, especially if there are children involved. When you entered into the marriage you may have built most or all of your credit together, which may have been fine as a couple, but often leaves one person at a disadvantage after the separation.

Some marriages unfortunately end abruptly for various reasons. For a stay-at-home mother this can be a nightmare when it comes to finances. All of the assets, including all vehicles are commonly under the husband's name if he is the only one working. The woman could be stuck with little or no belongings to move on with and no job or prior work experience. On the other hand, this could hurt him if there is any money owed on any of these belongings because they are now all his responsibility. If the one who initiated the divorce is not careful, their partner may purposely sabotage their credit for their own enjoyment. This is just one reason that it is important to sit down and make a mutual agreement that will protect the future for both people.

For convenience, most married couples keep all of the bills in one name. This means that one person is building credit while the other is not. The other person will inevitably have a difficult time getting a loan for a new home because they will have no credit score to work with. Even if the two who are separating do not want to remain in each other's lives, an agreement could be made for the one who has no credit to have their name transferred to a bill before the divorce is final.

Divorce is a tough situation even before credit is concerned. Children should always be taken into consideration as a priority to both parents so that the child is always taken well care of at all times. Years of building good credit could be ruined if a divorce is not handled maturely and with careful consideration. Keep in mind that at one time you did love the other person and despite whatever may have happened, no one deserves to struggle with unnecessary bad credit.

About the Author:
Tom Ambrozewicz, mortgage and real estate broker since 1993, is one of the pioneers in using breakthrough audio technology on his web sites. You can read or you can listen to professional narrator reading to you. You can check all credit tips at Ask-How.info now.
Submitted: 2006-10-22
Article Source: GoArticles

Abused Spouses: How Divorce May Affect Your Green Card Chances

The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), passed into law in 1994 and amended in 2001, provides hope for immigrant abuse survivors. Under U.S. immigration law, immigrants may obtain a green card ("U.S. permanent residence”) by marrying a U.S. citizen (USC). The USC must, however under the normal course, petition U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services (CIS, formerly known as “INS”) for an immigrant visa and a green card application for his/her immigrant spouse based on the marriage.

But this process is not always easy on the immigrant – in many instances, it provides one of the most abusive ways a sponsoring spouse can exercise control over the immigrant, by holding the immigrant's tentative immigration status over her.

This is where VAWA helps. Abused immigrants who are married to a U.S. citizen or Lawful Permanent Residents may now petition on their own for an immigrant visa and green card application, without the abuser's knowledge or consent.

However, one of the recurring problems and questions that come up in these abused spouse cases is what happens to the immigrant’s chances for a green card if the abuser goes through on his threat and files for divorce?

Similarly, how is her green card chances affected if the immigrant files for divorce, herself?

Filing for relief under VAWA may still be possible even if divorce proceedings have begun or even if the divorce is final. A divorced immigrant who was subject to extreme cruelty from his or her legal permanent resident or U.S. citizen spouse may apply for an immigrant visa as an abused spouse (eventually leading to a green card) if the petition is filed with CIS (INS) within 2 years following any final divorce decree.

Thus, if the immigrant is already divorced, s/he can still file for VAWA protection, but only if the divorce is 2 years old or less at the time it is filed and can prove that the abuse was related to the reason for or was the reason for the divorce, itself.

The divorced immigrant must still prove the basis elements of a VAWA self-petition including having a real marriage (i.e., not a marriage entered into for immigration purposes) as well as prove that s/he lived with the abuser when they were married at some point.

This provision allowing for divorce immigrants to file applies to all cases that were still being decided by CIS or filed on or after October 28, 2000. There are exceptions to this date, however, so an immigrant in this situation should contact an immigration attorney who regularly deals with VAWA (Violence Against Women cases) to determine if she is eligible to file for immigration protection under VAWA.

If an abused immigrant spouse chooses to not file a VAWA-based immigrant visa petition and chooses to rely on her spouse to sponsor her, if the spouse fails to sponsor her or the case the spouse filed is not approved by the time the divorce is final, that case will be denied and the immigrant will have to start over with either a VAWA-based immigrant visa (if eligible) or some other potential immigrant visa or will be stuck without the means to obtain a green card.

If an immigrant believes that her spouse is going to file for divorce or has already filed for a divorce and has a case based on her spouse's sponsorship currently being decided by INS (CIS), there may be a way to save the green card (adjustment of status) application that is attached to her spouse's immigrant visa filing and file for VAWA immigrant visa to protect herself from her spouse’s threats, and retain her work card and travel authorization instead of having to start all over again with a new green card application.

About the author:
Heather L. Poole, Esq.
Attorney Heather L. Poole practices family-based U.S. immigration law in Pasadena, California. She is a published immigration author and supervises abuse-based immigration cases at the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women. She is an active resource to the “Violence Against Women experts” list of the National Lawyers Guild, the National Network to End Violence Against Immigrant Women, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline. She can be reached at 626.432.4550 or heather@humanrightsattorney.com
For more information on the options available to abused immigrants, access www.humanrightsattorney.com
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When To Use A Divorce Lawyer And When To Avoid One

The topic of divorce is never pleasant and usually painful, but if you find yourself at the end of a marriage, it may be your only logical options. Individuals choose to enter divorce proceedings for a variety of reasons, but usually the more civil these proceedings the better. A divorce lawyer can be incredibly useful for representing you regarding divisions of assets and property and in the event of custody proceedings.

Not everyone needs to solicit the aid of a divorce lawyer, so carefully consider whether you should consider a lawyer in your specific situation. Since each case is different, there is no blanket statement regarding who should use a divorce lawyer and who can forgo the presence of one. You do not necessarily need the help of a divorce lawyer to successfully enter and complete divorce proceedings, but in many cases, their presence and expertise can help immensely through this difficult process.

Depending on your specific situation, you may not need the assistance of a divorce lawyer. That does not mean you should put any less importance or thought into the proceedings than an individual who chooses to hire a lawyer. Many individuals forego hiring a divorce lawyer because they can come up with an agreeable situation between themselves and a former spouse.

Even though your marriage may be ending, remember both parties are adults and should act as such. Individuals who are able to remain mature about the situation and have realistic wants and needs are more capable of handing proceedings without needing a lawyer.

If you choose not to solicit the assistance of a lawyer, carefully consider all potential issues that may arise between you and your former spouse. The two of you should arrange a meeting to discuss all issues before the date of the divorce proceedings so all terms and conditions are clearly determined.

Also, you may need to meet with a neutral third party mediator so that everyone remains focused at the task at hand. Couples who are able to calmly and deliberately discuss any necessary issues regarding the divorce are more apt to have problems later down the road. Most couples are able to discuss the terms of their divorce without needing to involve lawyers.

If you are concerned about your safety or afraid of your former spouse, it will probably be in your best interest to hire a lawyer and let that individual deal with him or her directly. You will still need to make any necessary decisions, but will not have to directly speak to your former spouse.

If there is any problem of abuse—physical, sexual, or verbal—in the relationship, a lawyer should be hired immediately. Furthermore, if you fear for the safety of any children or dependants in your home life, a lawyer be hired for their best interest as well. Furthermore, if your spouse is acting cruel or dishonest towards you or anyone else in the household, hiring a lawyer will help take the focus off you in this situation.

Another reason to hire a lawyer is if your spouse does so first. It is severely discouraged to enter into divorce proceedings against a lawyer if you have no experience in the field of law yourself. Hiring a lawyer will protect your best interests and ensure your wants and needs are taken care of in a court of law. This is especially true if children are involved, as custody cases are often complicated and should be handled by a professional.

If you find yourself wanting to hire a lawyer but financially unable to do so, speak with the legal aid office of your county courthouse. These offices coordinate clients with lawyers who will work at reduced fees or for no cost at all (pro bono). If you know a lawyer through family or friend connections, seek their help and guidance. Many legal acquaintances will be able to provide you with legal information for minimal or no charge.

However, if the lawyer in question shares a relationship with both you and your former spouse, it is strongly recommended you avoid bringing this person into any potential dispute. Making the decision whether or not to hire a lawyer to assist with your divorce proceedings is a critical decision that should be made using a clear head and deliberate thought.

About the Author:
Jeffrey Anderson writes about divorce lawyers and legal divorce help at http://www.divorcelegal.info - Click the link to visit now.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Divorce & Child Custody - What is a 730 Evaluation?

In California, a 730 evaluation can be described as an in-depth study and analysis of a family, their children, and the relationships within the family in the context of a child custody and/or visitation dispute. A 730 evaluation is also known as a child custody evaluation or child custody investigation. 730 evaluations are specific to California in that the number “730” refers to the California Evidence Code Section 730 under which it is ordered.

In legal terms, California Evidence Code Section §730 states:

"When it appears to the court, at any time before or during the trial of an action, that expert evidence is or may be required by the court or by any party to the action, the court on its own motion or on motion of any party may appoint one or more experts to investigate, to render a report as may be ordered by the court, and to testify as an expert at the trial of the action relative to the fact or matter as to which the expert evidence is or may be required. The court may fix the compensation for these services, if any, rendered by any person appointed under this section, in addition to any service as a witness, at the amount as seems reasonable to the court. Nothing in this section shall be construed to permit a person to perform any act for which a license is required unless the person holds the appropriate license to lawfully perform that act."

A 730 evaluation is typically conducted by a "child custody evaluator,” also known as a 730 evaluator or custody evaluator. The 730 evaluator will play the role of the investigator and look closely at the family dynamics so he/she can provide the court with a 730 evaluation report as evidence to help the court find the best possible arrangement that reflects the overall best interest of the child. The 730 evaluation report may be oral or written and the 730 evaluator may be called to testify or cross-examined at trial.

A 730 evaluation is generally ordered for a specific purpose and usually within high-conflict or complicated child custody cases where expert evidence is required. Before agreeing to a 730 evaluation you will want to discuss your particular case with a family law attorney in your area to help you learn whether or not a 730 evaluation is the right approach for you.

© 2006 Child Custody Coach

About the Author:
Steven Carlson
Child Custody Coach supplies information, written materials, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, divorce, child custody evaluations, parenting, and all child custody related issues. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help consumers find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in their area.
Article Submitted On: October 12, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/