The Hidden Effects of Divorce On Children

There are often mixed opinions about the true effects of divorce on children. The following article covers facts gathered from various resources over the years. We'll shed some light on and uncover the REAL effects that divorce could have on your children should you choose to go through with the divorce...

These days, it is hard to come by an individual who does not know someone who has been divorced, or who has not been divorced themselves. In Hollywood, divorce is seemingly becoming a common occurrence, while paving the way for a society where we're not only getting married later in life, but also searching for an almost unrealistic level of happiness in our marriage.

Many couples considering divorce refuse to believe that divorce can have a negative effect on their children. But many studies have been conducted that prove otherwise.

A long term study released in 2002 by the Institute for American Values found that “unhappily married adults who divorced were no more likely to report emotional or psychological improvements than those who stayed married.

According to this study, divorce does in fact NOT improve your emotional health. I think it would be safe to assume that this is due to the stress and financial burden divorce inflicts upon couples.

Here's another fact you might not know...

The Institute for American Values study found that almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided divorce were happily married five years later. Surprising, isn't it?

Here's another fact...

Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”)

Many couples divorce, and then remarry without knowing the true cause of their marriage problems in the first marriage. This is why the second marriage divorce rate is even higher than that of the first marriage!

Here's are some statistics specifically about the effects of divorce on children...

- Studies in the early 1980’s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage –Harvard University Press 1981)

- Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)

- Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill “Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)

- Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems. (Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment” Sage Publications, 1988)

That statistic is truly amazing, isn't it? But let me continue on...here are are some more shocking statistics on the effect of divorce on children...

- Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being” Journal of Marriage and the Family)

- Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members. (Los Angles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation)

- A Child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered. (The Legal Beagle, July 1984, from “The Garbage Generation”)

- The study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be “lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure". (Wallerstein “The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991)

- Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, “Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993)

- Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, “Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment, 1988)

- Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married. (Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well Being” National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage and the Family)

- People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, “Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988)

- Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce. (McLanahan, Sandefur, “Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” Harvard University Press 1994)

- Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. (Horn, Bush, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform)

- Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, “Single Motherhood and Children’s Health”)

- Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, “The Effects of Divorce On America)

I hope these statistics may eventually cause you (or your spouse) to seriously consider all the consequences of divorce before you make that final decision.

Based on these statistics, it becomes obvious that children need stable, loving homes with both mom and dad. There is, of course an exception to every rule, and in this case it is households where abuse is taking place. Children should under no circumstances remain in an abusive atmosphere that is unsafe for them.

But if there is no abuse taking place in your marriage and the two of you have simply "grown apart",or fell out of love, I urge you to seek out help for your marriage before you give up completely. For your children's sake, even if you're feeling hopeless right now, get help for your marriage today.

About the Author:
With an 88% success rate, Larry Bilotta's Marriage Lifeline Program, gives you hope for your marriage - even if you're the only one who wants to Save the marriage. For FREE, straightforward, no-nonsense advice you can use to save your marriage, with or WITHOUT your spouse's participation visit Larry's web site: Stop Your Divorce.
Submitted: January 7, 2007
Article Source: ArticlesFactory.com

Divorce - is it really the answer?

There are several reasons for seeking divorce by couples: economic, social, psychological or personal. Divorce should not be encouraged by any society; for the simple reason that it has far-reaching consequences not only for the persons involved in the divorce, but also for their children, and society.

The causes of divorce are diverse; sometimes, parents seek divorce on some flimsy grounds, too; in one instance, a husband divorces his wife just because she has ‘Robbie Williams’ tattooed on both ankles, while, in another, a housewife divorces her husband because he wouldn’t let her buy her own underwear. However, in most cases, divorces take place on account of factors, such as: poor communication, financial problems, a lack of commitment to the marriage, infidelity, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, failed expectations or un-met needs, etc.

Whatever may be the reasons for divorce, there is a need for introspection on the part of partners involved in seeking a divorce; as divorce causes many disadvantages to the spouses involved. Needless to say, going through the divorce is a painful process. It leaves the partners totally confused, crestfallen and with a low self-esteem, besides creating emotional disorders. Not only the relationship between the husband and wife sours, but also the relationships with the kith and kin of each spouse get affected. It might so happen that they, too, may take sides against the husband or wife.

Monetarily too, both husband and spouse suffer, because they would have to buy independent apartments, vehicles and other utilities for their individual use, with their own resources for which they might have to borrow from banks. More than anything, divorce means neglected children with a bleak future that leaves them undernourished, poorly educated and deprived of a productive means of livelihood.

In spite of the above, it is not possible to avoid divorce in many a case however much one should try. Rather than the factors cited above for divorce, what matters is the perception of the partners concerned that divorce would buy them peace in life, which may not be true after the separation. Nevertheless, if either the partners or one of them is adamant on getting a divorce, nothing can stop them from the breakup of the marriage.

A few grounds for divorce include ‘separation by consent’ in which the husband and wife live separately with consent for two years. Who knows what would happen during this period? The partners may decide to end the marriage by divorce as already planned, or at least soften their stance, during the interim period, on seeking immediate divorce resulting in an amicable divorce, with fewer implications for their personal lives.

Another ground for divorce is ‘five years separation with consent’ in which case the husband and wife will live separately for five years at the end of which one or both of the partners could seek to obtain a divorce regardless of whether the other party gives consent or not.

A third ground for divorce is ‘desertion’ in which case either the husband or wife will desert the other for a continuous period of two years, which becomes a sufficient ground for seeking a divorce on the part of either of them.

All these grounds for divorce do not necessarily guarantee that the process of divorce is smooth and without any hardships to the parties concerned. If we take this into account, we can safely conclude that seeking divorce is not the panacea for marital discord.

As divorce is a serious sociological problem in the UK, all efforts should be made to prevent divorce at any cost, and seeking divorce should be the last option chosen by couples. There is a need for initiating necessary steps to curb the trend of rising divorce cases. When couples enter into wedlock, proper guidance and counselling should be provided to them regarding the sanctity of marriage and the need to honour the commitment to marriage by the partners concerned through the thick and thin of life. Couples should also be advised to adjust to each other, and practise sharing and caring for each other. Hopefully, this will reverse the trend of increasing number of divorce cases in the UK to a considerable extent.

About the Author:
James Walsh
For more information on divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk
Article Source: Articles4Free.com

10 Tips for Winning at Custody

Winning at Custody is one of the most difficult issues parents confront in divorce. In many cases, both parents want custody and are willing to spend whatever it takes to win. Custody is all about what is best for the children - and that involves proving that you are the best parent - i.e. that the other parent is not as good a parent as you and/or that the other parent is just simply a bad parent.

My recommended tips for winning at custody are:

1. If you are not involved in your children's lives now, you are not getting custody from a judge. If you are a working parent who lets your spouse handle all of the details of parenting, you are not prepared to win at custody. You must either change your objectives or change your parenting. If you really want custody, get involved now - in all aspects of your children's lives. Get involved in your children's schooling. Attend their extra curricular events. Take them to the doctor and dentist. Get to know what professionals your children see and be involved with them?

2. Make sure that you are not exposing your children to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. Are you involved in another relationship? Has there been more than one? Be very careful about exposing your children to your companion(s). Many judges, professionals, and other parents object to the children being subjected to other relationships too early in that process. More important, if you really want to win at custody, it should be because you want to spend time with your children parenting them. Spending time with someone else when you have the children is a recipe for losing at custody in court.

3. Do you put down your children's other parent when the children are with you - either consciously or subconsciously? If you do, stop. One sure way to lose at custody is to hurt the children's relationship with the other parent. A judge will consider whether a parent promotes or prevents the other parent's access to and relationship with the children when seeking custody.

4. Winning at custody requires that you keep a calendar for everything. You need to be able to look back and remember details when it comes time to litigage custody. If you do not know when you had the children, what events you attended, where they were or you were or allof the times your spouse was not timely for a pick up or drop off, you will only hurt your own case. You can keep track on your own calendar, with your own journal, or with a professionally managed calendaring system. We do provide access to a professional calendaring system for custody cases on our web site at http://www.millenniumdivorce.com/custody-planner.asp.

5. Be on time...Be on time....Be on time. Few issues cause as much conflict as a parent who is persistently late in picking up or dropping off children. It irks the judges, it creates arguments with your ex or soon to be ex, and it stresses out the children. So, Be on time.

6. Be flexible. If the other parent wants to switch weekends or weekdays, do it if you can manage your schedule. When the time comes to tell the judge why you should have custody, you can tell the judge that you are the parent who makes sure that the schedule works. In a close case, this issue makes a difference.

7. Do not involve your children in the issues that are pending in court or with attorneys. Courts generally are very opposed to the children knowing the details of what are essentially adult issues. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them - that's it. The children may see a psychologist and/or an attorney or other professional if the court directs that. The children can talk to those people about your case - you should not be giving them the details, especially if giving the details involves denigrating the other parent.

8. Winning at custody requires considering one other very important factor: where do the children want to live. It is not a good idea to coach your children on this issue. They will have an opportunity to tell what they want to either the court, their attorney or a psychologist. However, it is a good idea to know what they want. If they want to live with their other parent, you should not spend all of your time and money pursuing custody, unless you believe that it is unsafe or inappopriate for the children to live with that parent.

9. You do have to be willing to show why your children's other parent should not have custody. So, you need to keep track of whether that parent is on time, involved, and flexible with the schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues which impact his or her ability to care for the children or alcohol or drug addictions, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can and do affect custody determinations include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and the epxosure of the children to those relationship, the proper supervision of the children, and ensuring that the children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and dentist when necessary.

10. Above all else, hire a good attorney and be open and honest with your attorney. Listen to your attorney, not some friend or relative who is sure about what you should do because they had a friend or a relative who got a better deal. If you are paying your attorney, listen to what he or she has to say.

About the author:
Jean Mahserjian is an attorney and the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of divorce. To download free excerpts from her divorce and custody books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com
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Divorce Facts

If you or your spouse are considering filing for divorce, there are some divorce facts that you should be aware of. No, I’m not just talking about the statistics around divorces that are regularly quoted in the media. Divorce facts also encompass items such as tax implications, and custody laws.

Of course these laws will vary from state to state so I won’t be going into too much detail here, but just giving a brief heads up about some of the main divorce facts that would be a good idea to keep in mind both during as well as before and after the process.

Let’s begin with looking at the divorce facts surrounding your tax returns. You will need to keep a complete inventory of all fees paid and money received that is to do with your divorce. For example fees paid to lawyers, and money received or paid for support. Depending upon the law of the state in which you reside, you could need to account for such amounts as part of your annual tax return.

Another sad but unavoidable fact of divorce is the effect it will have on your children. I say ‘will’ and not ‘could’ as divorce will, without any doubt, have an effect on them. However, the extent to which it affects them does depend mostly on how you and your spouse behave throughout the whole process and how you communicate with them during this difficult time. The more amicably the proceeding progresses, the less likely that your children will be adversely affected in the long run.

One of the common divorce facts is the increase in poverty. Generally speaking this affects more women than men since it is more common that the wages earned by a man are higher than those earned by a woman. This coupled with the fact that more often than not, the woman retains custody of the children results in the woman being in a less favorable financial position. Even though the woman may receive financial support from the children’s father, it generally isn’t enough to compensate for the same standard of living as if the marriage had remained intact.

Sadly, another of the common divorce facts is that once the process is complete, most people say that if they had known earlier how painful the whole process would be, they would have tried harder to save their marriage in the first place. Something perhaps that you should too bear in mind if you are considering divorce.

About the Author:
Krishan Bakhru
Free Ebooks Resell Right Ebooks and Natural Beauty
Submitted: April 27, 2007
Article Source: ArticlesFactory.com

Choosing a Solicitor to Manage Your Divorce

Looking for Choices

Even if you are in a tearing hurry to get the divorce over and done with, the friendly and eager young apprentice may not be the best idea just because he ‘looks’ honest. The internet lists hundreds of law firms and attorneys who are specialists; there are the yellow pages and newspaper classifieds. Several law associations offer their databases on the net, and it may not be such a bad idea to ask friends or family. There are counsellors and help cells attached with a few universities as well, who may be able to recommend someone reliable.

Research

It is definitely wise to read up on the laws before approaching the attorney. The internet offers a lot of material, much of it repackaged in attractive language. One should be careful, though, not to be tricked into paying for what is available for free. All divorce documents may be obtained free of cost at local courts in any region of the UK, and can be downloaded from the Court Service website. However, some sites actually fill in these forms for a nominal charge and are probably the most economic options.

Specialist Knowledge

This is of utmost importance in family law. Thorough domain knowledge is a greater benefit than a wide but surface-level survey. The correct lawyer will be a family law specialist with enough experience and a successful but clean track record. It is a good idea to check up on a few former clients, and testimonials are provided by attorneys who have nothing negative to hide.

Within Reach

While the internet has made meeting a human attorney in person optional now, the person in question must be contactable. A lawyer who does not want to receive calls (ever) or answer his mails is also not dependable. Your divorce may turn out to be the most amicable and smooth settlement in all of Britain, but would you want to be stranded in case of an emergency? An attorney, like a doctor, is supposed to be answerable, and do not trust someone whose existence is proved by an answering machine only, or is forever represented by a secretary. On the other hand, attorneys are busy people; do not spend hours telling them of your grief, you will be charged for it.

Does He Listen?

Be it through emails, phones, physical visits or even the informal internet chat, a good attorney is also a good listener. No matter how busy he is, a patient hearing is what you are paying for. If he does not know your case properly, chances are that he does not value it much either. Please do not be shy to discuss your financial position, terms of the agreement, and any problems which may complicate the divorce.

Credentials

Please check the attorney out properly before making up a deed with him. The trial visit is usually free, but even if a charge is deducted, it would stop a penny-wise pound-foolish decision from being implemented.

1. Please ask for and check the accreditation certificate properly. It would be terrible to be caught in the web of a glibly talking conman or even a quack. Please do not be swept away by friendliness or sales pitches – checking that certificate must not be stalled.
2. Things like fee structure, other costs entailed etc. should be totally cleared out in writing and verbally too. If you are going for a package deal make sure others have done that before you. Specify each point that does not seem water-tight enough.
3. Young attorneys, fresh from school, can be brilliant people. But it may be better to find out a lawyer who is either a veteran, or is at least experienced, or belongs to a law firm.

Does your Attorney Customise for You?

Divorce, like marriage, is an intensely individualised area. The attorney must recognise the areas where your case needs to be customised. If you feel he is generalising too much, move out.

About the Author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information about using online services to get a Divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk
Article Source: Articles4Free.com

The Divorce Blame Game

We all begin the divorce process convinced that everything is the other spouse's fault. All of the pain is a direct result of their bad behavior. Your ex is acting in complete disregard for your feelings. If your ex would only behave the divorce would go more smoothly. That you might have a part in this mess doesn't even occur to you. No, your spouse is to blame. He is one who cheated, lied, and betrayed you. How could you be responsible?

But when the dust settles you may start asking yourself some difficult questions. Was it really all your ex's fault? Was there anything you might have done or not done that could have contributed to this divorce?

This is where it gets tough. No one likes to think that they were responsible in any way for the failure of their marriage. It just has to be your ex's fault. Don't you have that long list of sins?

How could anyone draw a different conclusion?

Chances are that in most ways you are right, and your ex is wrong. Some of his actions might seem unforgivable. So, after all of the stress, heartache, and pain, why bother to accept any blame? If you look inward instead of outward, you will be able to take control. With this power you will emerge from your divorce with greater insight, and valuable lessons for any future relationship.

Only a victim looks at an ex-spouse and says: "Because of you I do not trust anyone. Because of you my life is empty. Because of you I am in pain." In doing that, the victim gives her ex-husband a controlling power over her behavior. You are making your ex responsible for your life. In saying:

"It's not my fault," you are holding yourself back from the hard work of recovery. The longer you harbor this victim mentality, the longer you will deny yourself a chance at the life you deserve to live.

Don't hide from yourself. Dig deep into the memory of your past actions. Look at them, learn from them, and let them go. Forgive yourself. Until you do that you won't find forgiveness for anyone. Once you do it you might be pleasantly surprised that the anger you feel for your spouse is diminishing.

The willingness to let go of the past, and truly move on to a better place, is the key to peace and happiness.

About the Author:
Christina Rowe is the author of the new book Seven Secrets To A Successful Divorce-What Every Woman Needs To Know . Find out the survival skills that will save you time, money and heartache during your divorce. For your free Secrets of Divorce newsletter go to http://www.divorcesurvivalskills.com
Submitted: 2006-10-14
Article Source: GoArticles

Divorce On A Budget: Self Help Divorce, Attorney Consultations & Minimizing Costs

If you are like many, you may find the possibility of divorce to be overwhelming and unaffordable. There are a number of ways, however, that a self help divorce can be achieved through a combination of quality divorce advice from a licensed divorce attorney and cooperation from both your and your spouse.

If you are like many, you may find the possibility of divorce to be overwhelming and unaffordable. In addition to being a stressful and emotional time in your life, a divorce can also be financially draining. There are a number of ways, however, that a self help divorce can be achieved through a combination of quality divorce advice from a licensed divorce attorney and cooperation from both your and your spouse.

As most divorce lawyers will tell you, the least expensive way to achieve a divorce is through an amicable settlement involving both parties. If you and your spouse can agree on child custody (if applicable), alimony, the division of assets and other important information relating to the divorce, you may be able to achieve satisfaction through divorce mediation. Because a neutral third-party individual presides over the matter, both you and your spouse will need to seek the help of a divorce attorney if preferred. Although not required, a divorce lawyer can offer important information throughout the mediation process, including your rights under the current divorce laws and advice on divorce that you may not otherwise consider. A divorce mediation is quicker and more affordable than a lengthy litigation process through divorce court. There are several instances in which divorce mediation may not be an option, including a marriage that has a history of abuse or when one spouse is fearful of the other.

If you prefer to file divorce papers independently after having researched your own self help divorce information, it may still be to your benefit to consult with a professional divorce lawyer. In many cases, divorce attorneys offer a free initial consultation. It is important to inquire about this policy prior to scheduling a meeting, however, as every divorce lawyer has his/her own guidelines when it comes to client meetings and/or telephone calls. If you are able to schedule a free or low-cost consultation, it may be well worth your time to speak with a professional who can offer valuable divorce advice on your case. Because divorce lawyers are experienced and knowledgeable about local divorce laws, you may find that the information gained is priceless. Even if you choose to proceed with filing the divorce papers yourself, having spoken with a divorce attorney may prove to be helpful in the future. This is especially true if a problem should arise within the case and you can then retain the services of that same attorney who is already familiar with your situation.

In most areas, legal aid is also available to help those who are financially strapped and still need help with legal issues. Because the litigation process through divorce court is both complex and lengthy, the legal fees can quickly add up. In some instances, a trial may be the only option. For those who can work together, settle their matters in a civilized and fair fashion and wish to minimize their expenses, consulting with a divorce lawyer about various options may be a good idea. Unless you have a very good understanding of local divorce laws and the legal process in general, filing your own divorce papers may be difficult. If nothing else, a divorce attorney can help you to get the appropriate papers completed and filed while offering professional divorce advice to help make this stressful time a little less painful for all involved.

The information contained in this article is designed to be used for reference purposes only. It should not be used as, in place of or in conjunction with professional legal advice regarding divorce, child custody, alimony, self help divorce and/or divorce laws. If you are in need of divorce advice or are considering a marriage separation, consult with a professional divorce lawyer in your area for further information and/or divorce advice.

About the Author:
Andrew Daigle is an author and creator of many informational websites including Divorce Attorney Search, Mesothelioma Attorney Search and many more.
Article Submitted On: February 19, 2007
Article Source: ArticlesFactory.com

WHEN YOU BREAK UP WHAT ARE YOUR RIGHTS

Prenuptial agreements are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, then hope you'll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within the first seven years, you may want to consider a prenuptial agreement before you walk down the aisle and say, "I do." Since you could later be engaged in a nasty, costly, and emotionally draining divorce some day, you should consider a prenuptial agreement as a precaution. Below we have given you some information on what is in a prenuptial agreement and whether it could be useful for you. A prenuptial or antenuptial agreement is a document signed by two people who intend to be married. It describes their rights and obligations should they get divorced. A prenuptial agreement informs the court how they want their assets and property divided up. Divorces become messy when parties cannot agree on the distribution of property, such things as the house, the house, stocks, and bonds and whether one party should pay the other alimony, now known as "maintenance" in most states. Assume that the husband has $1,000,000 in his own name prior to the marriage. A properly drafted prenuptial agreement can award that same $1,000,000 to him after a divorce, notwithstanding what he does with the money, such as purchasing a home in joint tenancy or shifting the money into other accounts. Without a prenuptial agreement, the wife might be entitled to one-half of the $1,000,000 or more, depending on the financial circumstances of the parties at the time of the divorce. The prenuptial agreement is a powerful and valuable tool that can favor the husband, protect the wife, or serve both of them fairly. It is a question of circumstances and intentions. Candidates for prenuptial agreements used to be just older individuals with huge estates that they wanted to protect from gold diggers for their children from previous marriages. Since more millionaires are born every day, the candidate pool is growing by leaps and bounds. Now everybody has something to protect: an unpublished author, the budding inventor, anybody with a lucrative profession or a good idea. So, before you dismiss the idea of a prenuptial agreement, assess your situation in life and your long-term future in deciding whether a prenuptial agreement is right for you. Consider at length the nature and extent of your present and possible future assets. A prenuptial agreement can be a very simple document running only a few pages that segregates each party's assets owned before the marriage, or it can be a very complicated document that runs dozens of pages because it deals with income and assets acquired during the marriage, the payment of debts, attorneys' fees, alimony/maintenance, and other financial matters. The next hurdle is raising the issue with your intended spouse, a very unromantic event. It helps to get it over with early. Perhaps you could blame it on someone else, such as your parents who may want to involve you in a family business, or possible business partners. If you have no one to hold responsible, just be honest. Tell your future spouse that you intend to be open, fair, and honest, and the fact that you will be revealing all your assets is a sign of trust. Assure your intended that he or she will be protected during the negotiation procedure and in the prenuptial agreement, and stress that the document is something you feel is necessary and wise before you get married. The most important thing is to discuss it earlier instead of later, so that the degree of pressure before the wedding is mitigated. Couples do not usually break engagements because of disputes over prenuptial agreements. In almost every instance, the agreement is signed and the parties are married. It is also completely appropriate to state that you will not get married without a prenuptial agreement; case law has indicated that this will not invalidate an agreement if made before the wedding. The best way to avoid charges of duress or coercion is to tell your future spouse early on that you want the prenuptial agreement. Sometimes, such documents are signed shortly before the wedding, but have been the subject of negotiation for months. A well-drafted agreement will recite the fact that, even though it was signed shortly before or on the wedding date, negotiations began much earlier. It is for clauses like this that you consult experts. Eventually, a prenuptial agreement will be fashioned so that you and your future spouse both accept it. The terms may not be what you initially envisioned and may not be what your intended would want. but that is the nature of compromise.

About the author:
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com
Email: jeffreyb@legalhelpmate.com
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Divorce Minus the Custody Battle

How to Settle Custody Out of Court

For many parents undergoing divorce, settling custody outside of the court may seem impossible. But the court does not have to be the only way you can settle a custody battle. More and more parents are looking towards mediation in order to settle their custody battles. Mediation may just be the answer to your child custody disputes without getting the court involved.

Instead of hiring a legal professional to show the court just how great a parent you are and how much better you can take care of your kids than the other parent, you may both put your trust in one mediator minus the court. Both of you must first scout around for the appropriate mediator for your context. You should make sure that he/she is not only receptive but a good listener to both sides. Don't rush around and grab the first mediator you may come upon. It pays to take the time to interview possible choices in order to find the mediator that can help you both the most.

The importance of commitment

Seeking the help of a mediator will require one major concept from both you and the other parent--commitment. If you are serious about trying to settle custody issues outside of court, both of you must be dedicated to a serious commitment to mutual agreement.

You may also opt to seek the help of regular family counseling in order to reach an arrangement wherein all members of the family will be happy. In these regular sessions of family counseling, both parents and children may go through possible living arrangements and assess which ones may be possible or not, and why.

The counseling process

The family counselor may start by meeting with the kids first. He/she may then speak with the parents, and later on with the family as a whole in order to approach their specific needs and wants. Later on, the whole family may decide upon the first arrangement to try out.

This first arrangement and its effect is regularly evaluated through further counseling sessions in order to achieve an arrangement that will meet each individual's needs while not overlooking the family as a whole. The feedback from each of the family members coupled with the counselor's skills is a vital source of attaining the most appropriate arrangement for all.

Motivation is vital!

These methods of mediation have proven to have a high success rate in those families with motivation.

To learn more about divorce, please visit Divorce Guide.

About the Author:
Hope Ocampo
Submitted: 2006-09-25
Article Source: GoArticles

Children And Divorce

A recent statistic shows that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but maybe the hardest on children. Most often they experience many feelings that they do not understand. They go through a range of emotions and need their parents to understand. If you are going through a divorce getting to understand how your children are dealing with it is important.

When parents divorce they often put their children in the center of arguments and a game of emotional tug of war. To avoid this sort of thing parents need to work together. Even though their marriage is over they are still parents together. The child needs to understand many things about the divorce. Parents need to keep in touch with their children and understand the many feelings they may be having. Older children, especially, can go through periods where they act out as a way to cope with the divorce. Many times children feel the divorce is their fault. They may worry about the future and how to deal with other events, like parent’s day at school. Both parents need to show the children that they can work together and not fight. At the same time it is important to let the children know that you are not getting back together. Establishing some sort of family structure is a necessity to help children get back to “normal”.

Children will react different depending on their age. The following list explains a little about each age group and how they react to divorce.

Age 3-5: Regression to a more infantile state, problems sleeping, fear of separation

Age 6-8: Fantasies of parents getting back together, open emotions

Age 8-11: Anger, treat one parent as good the other as bad, take a caregiver role

Age 12-18: Depression, violent actions, judgmental of parents, develop anxiety about own relationships

Learning to help your children cope through divorce is possible the most important step in the divorce process. Children have no choice in the matter and may feel completely left out if their feelings are not recognized.

About the Author:
Stephen Kreutzer is a freelance publisher based in Cupertino, California. He publishes articles and reports in various ezines and provides divorce resources at About Divorces!
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Tax Consequences of Prenuptial Agreements

It is essential that the parties entering into an agreement be advised of Tax Ramifications of property transfers made pursuant to the agreement, and that the agreement be examined from time to time to be sure that the results are reflected in the current tax law. While merely executing a prenuptial agreement usually does not result in any Immediate Tax Consequences, taxes will become an issue later upon divorce or death for all transfers made prior to the marriage, during the marriage, and upon the cessation of the marriage.

Prior To and During Marriage

Since the issue in a prenuptial agreement is to transfer property rights in exchange for release of marital rights or against a will, the tax consequences will depend on when the transfer takes place. Generally, property transfers made before the marriage may have adverse income and gift tax results, while they will not incur gift tax or income tax if made during the marriage. Therefore, the prenuptial agreement should stipulate that any transfer of property occur after the wedding. Prior to the enactment of Sec. 1041, the Supreme Court ruled that the transferor Recognized Gain for income tax purposes equal to the difference between the fair market value of the property transferred and its adjusted basis when such property is transferred in exchange for the release of property rights. No income tax was recognized by the party who released the marital rights, as both the IRS and the courts have held that for income tax purposes, the value of marital rights is equal to the value of the property received. However, for estate and gift tax purposes, Marital Rights are not considered full and adequate consideration, and consequently, the transfer of property is treated as a gift (Sec. 2043(b); Reg. Sec. 25.2512-8). Sec. 1041 was entered to override the court's decision to tax the gain on property transferred between spouses and former spouses when the transfer is made incident to divorce. Transfers within six years after divorce that are pursuant to the terms of a divorce decree are deemed to be incident to divorce. A transfer between Prospective Spouses, however, is still treated as a sale and the transferor will recognize gain if the value of the property exceeds his or her adjusted basis. For example, a man and woman are Contemplating Marriage. She has substantial assets she wishes to protect in the event of divorce or death; therefore, she and her fiancée execute a prenuptial agreement that allows her to transfer $250,000 to him in exchange for his release of all marital claims against any of her property in the event of divorce or death. One month before the wedding, she transfers stock worth $250,000 to him. Since she had purchased the stock several years ago for $50,000, the transfer of the stock causes her to have a taxable gain for income tax purposes of $200,000. In addition, she has made a gift (subject to the gift tax rules) of $250,000 and his basis in the stock is $250,000. If the Transfer of The Stock had occurred after the wedding, then she would have not recognized gain on the transfer, as Sec. 1041(a) provides that property transfers between spouses do not result in recognition of gain or loss. Neither would she have been subject to gift tax because Sec. 2523(a) provides for an unlimited marital deduction for gifts between spouses. Therefore, the prenuptial agreement should provide for property transfers to occur after the wedding. If terms of the Prenuptial Agreement provide for a series of payments by one spouse in return for the other spouse's release against the transferor's assets in the event of divorce or death, then no income or gift tax consequences result as long as the couple is married during the entire stream of payments. If the couple divorces before the last payment, remaining payments may constitute gifts made outside marriage. After Cessation of the Marriage

If the marriage ends in divorce, the prenuptial agreement often spells out the property rights and obligations of both parties. Property transfers between former spouses pursuant to a prenuptial agreement are classified as property settlements, alimony, or child support. Alimony is taxable to the recipient and deductible by the payer, but property settlements and child support are neither taxable to the recipient nor deductible by the payer. Alimony is objectively defined because the payer spouse benefits from payments being classified as alimony, while the payee spouse benefits from payments being classified as either Child Support or a property settlement, for federal income tax purposes. All payments meeting the seven objective criteria are classified as alimony payments, regardless of the parties' intent, even if the payments do not satisfy the payer’s support obligation under state law. Similarly, payments that do not meet the objective criteria for alimony for tax purposes are not deductible to the payer, even if such payments qualify as alimony under state law or the parties intend for them to qualify as alimony.

Alimony Payments

To be deductible for tax purposes, alimony payments must meet the seven objective criteria provided in IRC Sec. 71. Payments that do not meet these criteria are recharacterized as either child support or a property settlement. Consequently, if the parties wish to have certain payments qualify as alimony, it is essential that the terms of the prenuptial agreement be structured so all criteria are satisfied. Each of the objective criteria is provided below.

1. Payments must be made in cash.

2. Payments must be received by or on behalf of a spouse under a divorce or separation instrument. Further, if the parties have entered into a prenuptial agreement providing for the Support of Either Spouse and, the divorce decree or written separation instrument refers to the prenuptial agreement for the determination of alimony, then the prenuptial agreement will be treated as pursuant to a divorce instrument.

3. The payer’s obligation to make payments must end with the death of the payee spouse. 4. The instrument must not specifically designate that the payments are not alimony.

5. The filing of a joint tax return is prohibited.

6. In the case of legally separated spouses, the Payor and Payee spouses must not be members of the same household at the time of the payment.

7. Payments cannot be fixed as child support or treated as fixed as child support. Keep each of the seven criteria in mind when reviewing the tax consequences of the terms provided in a prenuptial agreement. Some of the common problems encountered causing alimony payments to be classified as a property settlement for tax purposes are discussed below. First, Non-Cash Spousal Support payments made pursuant to the terms of a prenuptial agreement, even those that satisfy the payer’s obligation for alimony under state law, are not deductible. The prenuptial agreement should specify that all alimony is to be paid in cash. Second, the terms of the prenuptial agreement should be structured so the payer spouse has no obligation to make any payments after the payee spouse's death. If such payments are permitted to occur, then none of the payments, even those made before the death of the payee spouse, qualify as alimony. For example, the husband is required to pay his wife $20,000 per year for 15 years or until her death, whichever is earlier. The agreement also provides that if she dies before the end of 15 years, he will pay her estate the difference between the $300,000 that she would have received over the 15 years, less the amount that she actually received. The fact that he is required to make a lump sum payment to the estate upon her death suggests all payments are a substitute for a $300,000 lump sum payment. Consequently, none of the annual $20,000 payments qualify as alimony. When the prenuptial agreement does not address this issue, state law determines whether the payee spouse has any continuing obligation to make payments. In most states, support payments automatically cease upon the payee's death; however, it is possible for payments that were not classified as alimony, for state purposes, to have qualified as alimony for federal income tax purposes. Such payments would not cease upon the payee's death and all payments, even those made before the payee's death, would be recharacterized as property settlements.To ensure that payments are characterized as alimony for federal income tax purposes, the prenuptial agreement should contain a formal statement that the obligation to make payments terminates at the recipient spouse's death. Third, if the parties wish to treat cash payments as something other than alimony, the prenuptial agreement must state which payments the parties do not want treated as alimony. For federal income tax purposes, all payments that qualify as alimony will be treated as such unless the payments are specifically designated as child support or a property settlement. It is a good idea for the prenuptial agreement to contain a provision that allows the spouses to change the designation of those payments from non-alimony to alimony in future years. This gives the parties some flexibility in case the circumstances of the parties change in Future Years. Finally, the terms of the prenuptial agreement should be structured to avoid any language that could be construed as representing child support. If it is possible to determine, by reference to the prenuptial agreement, what portion of a payment was intended as child support, then that portion of the payment will be treated as child support and only the remainder will be considered alimony. Payments are treated as child support to the extent that they are subject to reduction on the happening of a contingency specified in the instrument relating to the child; or at a time that can be clearly associated with a contingency related to the child. Contingencies relating to a child include, but are not limited to, the child attaining a specific age or income level; the child marrying, dying, or gaining employment, and the child leaving school or the spouse's household Reg. Sec. 1.71-1T(c), Q&A-17. A Payment Reduction associated with a contingency with respect to a child is a much more ambiguous standard and depends on an analysis of the facts and circumstances of the situation. See Reg. Sec. 1.71-1T(c), Q&A-18, for specific instances that are deemed to be associated with a contingency with respect to a child. Example: Scott agrees to pay Debbie $2,000 per month until she dies. Debbie has custody of their child, Eric. The agreement states that upon Eric attaining the age of 16, the monthly payment will be reduced to $1,200. Of each $2,000 payment, $1,200 is alimony and the remaining $800 is treated as child support. Alimony Recapture. Payments that would otherwise qualify as alimony that decreases rapidly in the first three years following separation or divorce, may be recharacterized as a property settlement. After the terms of the prenuptial agreement have been analyzed to determine which payments qualify as Alimony for tax purposes, it is necessary to check whether the alimony recapture provisions apply. Recapture does not apply to payments reduced due to death of either spouse; the remarriage of the payee spouse where payments cease under the terms of the divorce decree; temporary support payments; or fluctuating payments from a pre- existing formula (e.g., percentage of gross income from a business), when the formula is fixed under the terms of the divorce or separation instrument and is effective for at least three years. If the recapture rules apply, then before signing the prenuptial agreement the parties need to revise the terms of the agreement so payments are not subject to alimony recapture. Payments recharacterized under the alimony recapture rules become income to the payor spouse and a deduction to the recipient spouse. Alimony Recapture, if applicable, occurs in the third post-separation year and is the sum of the excess payments made in both the first and second post-separation years. The second-year excess payment is determined first and is calculated as the amount by which the second year's payment exceeds the third-year payment plus $15,000. The first- year excess payment is then calculated as being the amount by which the first-year payment exceeds the average of the adjusted payments from the second year and the payments from the third year, plus $15,000. The recapture rules apply only to excess payments made in the first three post-separation years. Consequently, payments made after the third year may be reduced without recapture. Payments increasing from year to year do not trigger recapture. Property Settlements When the parties intend to use a prenuptial agreement to designate each spouse's property rights and obligations in the event of divorce and want to ensure that all transfers made after divorce avoid both income and gift tax, the prenuptial agreement should include a provision that makes all payments conditional on their being included as part of the divorce decree. Sec. 1041 provides that no gain or loss is recognized for income tax purposes on the transfer of property incident to divorce and that such transfers are treated as gifts. In situations where there is nonresident alien spouse, extreme caution is necessary as the benefits of Sec. 1041 are sharply curtailed Sec. 1041(d). The code also states that transfers occurring within one year after the cessation of marriage are deemed to be incident to divorce, and the regulations provide that transfers made within six years after a divorce are deemed to be incident to divorce, only if the transfers are made pursuant to the terms of the divorce or separation instrument Reg. Sec. 1.71-1T(b), Q&A-7. Child Support. If the parties intend for certain payments to qualify as child support, rather than alimony, then the amount of the payment constituting child support should be specifically stated in the terms of the agreement. In situations where payments are reduced in violation of the terms of the agreement (i.e., the payor spouse is delinquent), payments are first treated as child support payments before any alimony income is reported by the recipient.14 Example: Under terms of the separation agreement, Jack is required to pay Lisa $1,000 per month, $600 of which is designated in the agreement as support for their minor child. If Jack only pays Lisa $9,000 during 1992, then $7,200 will be considered child support and the remaining $1,800 will qualify as alimony. In situations where the prenuptial agreement requires a specific payment for both alimony and child support without separately stating the amount of each, the entire payment will be treated as alimony. Example: Hal agrees to pay Wanda $600 per month until she dies. Wanda has Custody of Their Child, Chris. The agreement states that as long as Hal continues to make monthly payments to Wanda, he is relieved of all support obligations for Chris. Even if Wanda can show that the entire amount was used to support Chris, the entire $600 qualifies as alimony since it cannot be determined from the agreement how much of each payment is for child support. In the Event of Death When a prenuptial agreement takes effect due to the death of a spouse, the property is included in the decedent's gross estate and the recipient spouse takes a basis in the property equal to its fair market value Sec. 2043(b). As previously discussed, most states give the surviving spouse the right to elect against what was provided in the will and instead takes a set percentage of the deceased spouse's assets. This problem is eliminated when the parties address the issue in an enforceable prenuptial agreement. Example: Richard and Molly are contemplating marriage. Richard, who was previously married, has accumulated a considerable amount of wealth that he wishes to leave to his children. Richard and Molly enter into a prenuptial agreement wherein Molly agrees to waive any claims against Richard's assets upon his death. In return, Richard agrees to transfer, at the time of his death, a percentage of his assets into trust with the income to go to Molly for the remainder of her life and the property to go to his children Upon Her Death. The remainder of Richard's estate goes directly to his children. In the event of Richard's death, Molly would be unable to elect against the will provisions and the executor of Richard's estate could elect to treat the trust as a QTIP trust, since the property in the trust is qualified terminable interest property and Molly is entitled to the income from the property for life. Thus, the estate would receive a marital deduction for the value of the trust assets Sec. 2056(b)(7).

About the author:
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com
Email: jeffreyb@legalhelpmate.com
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