The Decision to Divorce

There are many big decisions is life and two of these are buying a home or deciding to get married. However, considering a divorce is a very big decision, too. Deciding on divorce is the subject of this article.

When we consider divorce, we soon realise that it never easy because it involves pain and distress for everyone associated with it. But there is another aspect, too. When couples marry, the idea of divorce is not even considered. However, as soon as we start to contemplate divorce, we have to accept that it is a huge change in our lives and such a change can be, for some, a reason not to proceed. After all, the decision to divorce goes against the hopes and dreams we once had. This for some people is an obstacle in itself, but there are many others to consider and some of these are discussed here.

In divorce, it is the children that one thinks of most of all. Parents never want to cause their children, especially very young ones, to be unhappy and suffer pain. However, parents often do not realise that children are well aware that the family is not the same as it was before. They can detect that their parents are not talking the way they once did. So, when the decision to tell the children that their parents intend to divorce, it is not always a shock to them. Sometimes, children who are very perceptive will say that they knew it was going to happen.

At some point during the divorce process, the family home will change. Possibly, one of the parents will leave the home and this will change the dynamics within it. For children this can be a problem, but what is important is that they need to know that they can see the missing parent at anytime. And it is sensible to make proper provisions for access so the children are as protected as much as possible.

The family home is often the subject of major dispute when divorce is taking place. One way of looking at the family home is that in essence it is a house consisting of four walls and a roof, and made of bricks, blocks, wood, concrete and tiles. In itself such a building is nothing special. It is the people who reside there that turn the house into a home. Therefore, if the parents are unhappy in the house, then why fight over it. There are thousands of houses around that can be turned into wonderful family homes again. Share the financial value of the home, but move on as soon as possible as there is a lovely home somewhere waiting just for you.

Although the home and children have been mentioned, it is sensible to consider the couple going through the divorce. Bringing a marriage to an end is very painful, but staying in a relationship that has gone sour is also horrible. Consider therefore why you should stay in a relationship that is so bad because it adds no value to your life and wastes a lot of nervous energy.

In the past, you had beautiful moments of love, happiness, peace and joy. And what you should remember is that these emotions have not been eradicated from within you. Leading up to the decision to divorce and divorce itself, means that these emotions do not currently form part of your life, but they can be ignited again if you so choose.

The decision to proceed with a divorce is for some people harder than the divorce itself. Divorce is the outcome of enormous pressures such as whether you should or whether you should not proceed. This is a huge dilemma and only you can decide. Of course, you can take advice from lawyers, councilors and other professionals, but in the end it is you that has to decide.

A sense of relief is often felt once the actual decision to divorce has been made. The next stage is a legal procedure and it should not be underestimated that this can cause pain too. But at least once the process has begun; the big decision will therefore have been made. Trying to focus on the future can make a difference since your life has a new goal and you should be happy once more.

Whoever decides on the divorce, both parties will feel hurt. Whether you are the petitioner or the respondent, it will still be an unhappy time for there are no winners in divorce.

The decision to divorce is important and you have to ask yourself is it the right decision at this time. You would need to think carefully about the consequences of having a divorce right now, or postponing it until later. Taking advice is a wise thing to do, and it is sensible to write it all down rather than trying to remember every word given to you. When you have done this, like many people, you may find the decision to seek a divorce now, or to wait a while, is much simpler.

About the Author:
Rita Willetts provides a range of resources at her web site: Apres Divorce where you will find information that will help you on many divorce issues. Why not take a look: www.apresdivorce.com
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com