Five Steps Before Filing Divorce

Getting a divorce can be stressful and full of situations that are tremendously challenging. Without having some kind of divorce support, it becomes tempting to avoid dealing with it altogether, leaving the prospect of staying in an unhappy marriage as a festering thought in the back of both of your minds.

Then the inevitable moment arrives when, as difficult as it may seem, it is obvious to the both of you that there is simply no other viable choice. So, where do you begin?

Consult an experienced divorce attorney. Informing yourself of your legal rights and options is perhaps the most important step. A good attorney will give you useful divorce information and sound divorce advice that is specific to your situation. Consulting an attorney for divorce help early on will save you from making costly mistakes in the long run. Make photocopies of all your legal documents. You will need to have all your documents during the discovery procedures. The sooner you get copies, the sooner your attorney can proceed with determining how much in alimony and child support, if anything, your spouse will owe. Copy the following:

Tax returns
Evidence of your spouse’s earnings
Bank statements and check registers
Retirement and investment account statements
Life insurance policies
Social security statements
Mortgage documents and automobile titles
Financial statements
Credit card statements
Wills and living trusts

Know your family’s budget and expenses. Look through your check register and become familiar with your monthly cash expenditure. This information will be crucial in making a realistic assessment of what it will take for you to start over, financially. Yes, there is life after divorce… so plan ahead.

Consult with an experienced divorce financial planner. You will need to decide on a winning debt-management strategy. Consider paying down the debt before your divorce to help make things easier afterward, regardless of what the divorce settlement is. Also, take a good look at your credit history. Do as much as you can to improve your credit rating before your divorce is final.

Take an inventory of your possessions. This task may seem daunting at first. Just start with one major thing at a time including cars, furniture, appliances and jewelry, then work down to the minor stuff. This can be the more tedious aspect of what may be an otherwise easy divorce.

About the Author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com a great online source for finance information.
Submitted on 2005-10-05
Article Source: http://www.ArticlesAlley.com/

Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal consultation. And lately there are sites offering online divorce services.

It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.

Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy Americans in this case, it is accepted that the former husband or wife may pay rather large sums of money for the divorce process. It is not enough that the divorce in itself involves strong emotional stress, so they also pay an extra thousand on top of the $10-20,000 to lawyers to carry out this occupation, and sometimes it is even more.

Why should we lose the money and time applying for divorce, if there is the cheap and fast alternative - divorce online. You find the site, take your mouse, you press on the button - and you are a divorced person. With a minimum of formalities, as in Las Vegas, for the conclusion of a failed marriage appears the divorce.

To terminate a marriage on site, a couple wanting to apply for divorce need only a credit card and a computer with access to the Internet. The divorce case was finished within 30 minutes and cost $199.

People who hate discussing and relaying specific instances in dialogues with lawyers use the services of the site. In the virtual world of divorce, the couple that does not require court, after inputting all necessary data for divorce, merely prints the forms, signs them, and sends them to the judge. That is all.

The high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general divorce discussion.

The founder and head of a company like Legalhelper.org that supplies online documents for divorce disagrees with the opinion of opponents that cheap divorce can minimize the importance of divorce. It is true that the divorce will cost them only $199 but this will not push the majority of people to end less-considered marriages faster and more often. Similarly, the high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general discussion.

Note that Legalhelper.net provides an easy-to-use, quick, and economical online method for creating completed legal forms from its site for your uncontested divorce (either no-fault divorce or fault divorce).

About the author:
James Wood is a free-lance writer on family issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life, to find a right legal solution in regards to family relationship.
www.legalhelper.net/power-of-attorney.aspx
wjames@legalhelper.net
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The good, old San Diego divorce attorney

San Diego has quite a history in divorces. Between 1850 and 1880 alone, sixty-three divorces were filed in San Diego County, most of which were intended by women. Of course, fewer are the cases when the two partners have a “friendly divorce”. The reasons for divorce vary, as well as the terms of separation between the spouses, but one thing is constant in all of this: the San Diego divorce attorney’s presence.

In the process of separation, the San Diego divorce attorney plays a greater role than just of the mediator who legally terminates the contract of marriage. He deals with the problems between the spouses. He also helps them pass through the difficult process of braking-up giving them advice and sometimes even managing the problem of the couple concerning the communication of the divorce news to the involved children.

San Diego divorce attorneys are restless in performing their duty. They may even lose faith in the institution of marriage after a while. This may be considered quite a cost for one to pay, but looking at the help they are giving to so many others, the importance of losing this faith can be overlooked.

As the number of divorce cases gets bigger and bigger, people often wonder if the reasons for such unforgivable misunderstandings in married couples are avoidable. Some may say yes and studies have been made concerning this problem. Results show that preventing a bad marriage starts at the very beginning of the relationship, while dating the future life partner, and that a correct evaluation of the partner is imperative before making any further steps.

Having a look at the San Diego divorce situation can show a pretty good perspective of how a marriage can end in general. While the reasons of divorce files may have changed since the beginnings of the 19th century San Diego, problems of other nature still occur. San Diego divorces were then filed on physical violence grounds and they are now filed because of misfit couples, because of money problems and simple misunderstandings. San Diego divorce attorneys still face the difficulties of child custody. Being parents is difficult – being divorced parents is traumatizing for both parents and children. Making the right decisions concerning child custody in a divorce is a serious decision for a divorce attorney to make. Not few were the cases when unsatisfied divorced parents had to kidnap their own children from the house of the one who had custody.

In addition, the distribution of conjugal property can take up a lot of time of a San Diego divorce attorney. Lawyers have to make sure that the terms of the settlement are well taken care of. The laws are very strict when it comes to personal property and splitting it between the two parts. Also, the San Diego divorce attorney has to take into consideration the payment of an alimony or maintenance payments, as it is well known that usually the wife is suitable to receive such payment.

A San Diego divorce attorney becomes, during the process of separation of a couple, the legal representative of either wife or husband in the court. Due to this, violent behavior between spouses becomes less probable and even makes the whole process take less time. Nevertheless, one can consider the San Diego divorce attorney a bad influence or even an enemy during the process, even though his job says otherwise.

Whoever said that being a lawyer is easy was most certainly wrong. A San Diego divorce attorney must learn to keep his impartiality at all times, even though life experience, mental judgment, or other influencing factors might tell him to do otherwise than required.

As long as people will get married, people will also divorce. As the population of San Diego is growing just as it always has and divorce cases always appear, a prepared at all times San Diego divorce attorney will always have a job to do. The San Diego divorce attorney has always been solicited since the early 19th century. Being a lawyer requires certain special qualities that, till now, the San Diego divorce attorney has not failed to show and to put at work. Impartiality and longtime tradition make people sure today that a San Diego divorce attorney, is, first of all, a trust-worthy and experienced person who can solve the problems of divorce.

About the Author:
Amelie Mag
While some underestimate the importance of the San Diego divorce attorney , others now that his presence in imperative in the case of a divorce. Please visit this site to find out more information about child custody and regular problems that concern parents who split up.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Divorce - Will Your Dog Come Off Worse?

Divorce is a sad fact of life. These human problems can cause stress to dogs. A dog is a social animal bonded to a family routine and a way of life, that relies on us for their mental, physical and emotional welfare. Dogs of course are frequently denied consideration when it comes to difficulties in relationships. When couples shout and argue with each other this will indeed affect the dog ( and also the cat). Our blacker mood's and tantrums will have an adverse effect on our pet dog. Nervous behaviour is often caused by the owners actions.

Whenever I Am called to a home where owners have a howling, barking, destructive, digging house soiling or one showing symptoms of an anxiety related behaviour, where it is apparent that the dog has an inability to cope with life, I always ask if there has been a death, separation or indeed a divorce which could have triggered the problems as this behaviour is a typical expressions of canine anxiety.

Another extreme behaviour pattern I Have observed is dogs going to the bottom of the garden, and staying close to walls which is often seen when a dogs instinct tells it that it is dying. In the wild dogs leave their packs and go away to die. I always ask the owner of the house if there are any known medical problem, if none are known and a separation has taken place then these behaviour patterns must be considered as an expression of extreme canine anxiety.

Creatures of habit Dogs are creatures of habit and function to our timetable -wake-up time, meal time, bedtime, playtime, etc. Some dogs find it harder to accept a change of routine than others and especially hard for the older dog, who more often than not will go rapidly downhill when faced with the upheaval that accompanies divorce.

Our pet dog is a social animal, and a silent watcher, who is able to pick up our vibrations, any change in its schedule or environment or change in atmosphere caused by arguments within the family.

Perhaps a member of the family may march out in a huff, slamming doors. This will cause stress to the pet dog. The dog hears all the shouting and human aggression, and this can be frightening to it. Some owners will even put their dog outside the room when they argue. Now the dog sees this a form of punishment.

Of course, the dog in the household can have a positive influence on what is going on. It is known that divorce can cause behavioral changes in a child, from bursts of angry rebellion to periods of deep brooding silence. Dogs play a beneficial role, since a child can make the dog his very best friend and confident to be hugged, cried with, and told any secret, knowing his best friend will neither pass judgment nor tell anyone.

When a couple separate or divorce, I Always advise that the best solution is to keep the children and dog (or dogs) together. Divorce is traumatic enough but dogs can, in fact, play a very important roll to cope with, and express, his or her feelings. The other alternative, that of sharing a dog between two households, rarely works, since this causes stress to the couple, the child and the dog. However, as couples have usually provided, trained and loved the dog together, it is their responsibility to decide what is best for it now.

Hard Decisions I was once called to the home of a very nice lady who informed me that her German Shepherd dog, Rex, had started howling and pacing. I asked the usual questions to find that she had recently separated from her husband but they had agreed he could visit their dog every Sunday to take him to his regular agility class. Not being a marriage counsellor I found that I was placed in the position whereby I thought it would be in the interest of Rex to arrange to meet both the lady and her ex husband together! Meeting them was not only a strain for them but also for me.

They both loved the dog and they both wanted him. As we could not ask the dog whom it would rather live with. I could see that a battle "Royal" was about to develop. It took me a couple of hours to explain the "Pack" had split and that Rex could not cope with the separation. In this particular case I managed to convince the lady, who was at work all day, that the dog would be more settled with her ex husband since he worked from his new home, and maybe she should consider another pet, possibly a cat.

I have found that when couples split and that one leaves the family, particularly the one that the dog regards as "Alpha" then the consequences can be serious. In another of my cases, the husband, Tony, left his wife and within a week their dog, a Dobermann, had attacked Tony's wife so severely that she had to spend three days in hospital to recover from bites to her leg and arm, received after trying to send the dog to bed ! The dog is now with Tony and perfectly well behaved.

At another house that I was called to, a very nice lady explained that she had recently "lost" one of her dogs and since then her three year old Jack Russell was house soiling. It turned out that when her husband had split with her they had decided to take one dog each. After some further questions I learned that her ex husbands dog was also soiling and being destructive. So, now we had two dogs that were brought up together, very attached, trained and fed together, and suddenly separated and both unable to cope with their lives.

After some discussion both the ex husband and ex wife agreed that the dogs should be kept together. All the soiling and howling ceased. Although this ended up in the favour of the dogs, I have also known couples that have separated and would not give up their pet. In these cases one can only advise them that they can expect the related behavioural problems associated with separation.

On yet another occasion I was called to attend a six year old male Yorkshire Terrier, Bobby, who had always been a good pet with a good nature. For no apparent reason Bobby was now showing severe aggression, and marking in the home. When I first took the telephone call I immediately put this down to dominant behaviour. However after a further conversation with Helen I was told that she had just divorced her husband, James, and to be fair to Bobby, James was allowed to visit Bobby on weekends to take him out for half a day.

I have heard of visiting rights for children but this was the first for me to learn of visiting rights for a dog! The husband, who I eventually met was a dominant person and as far as "Yorkshire Bobby" was concerned was the Alpha of the pack. This little Bobby was not aware of the divorce, he only knew that his "Alpha James" came for him and that he enjoyed himself. The problem was that Bobby did not consider Helen as a superior "animal" and was indeed correcting her, with aggression, and calling (howling) for his Alpha. After many hours I was able to convince Helen that matters would deteriorate and that in Helen and Bobby's best interest, the dog should go to live with James, with Helen visiting Bobby at weekends.

Making new friends Of course, separated or divorced people who have pets can encounter problems when they meet a new partner. I have one particular client Rosalind, with a Maltese called Max, who will not accept her new live in partner. Little Max has always slept on Rosalind's bed and been given every attention. Now an "intruder" has arrived and is sleeping on Max.'s bed. In this case I recommended that Max be fed by her new partner and also that he should gradually, over the period of a few weeks be removed from the bed and placed outside the bedroom. Whilst writing this article I enquired as to Max.'s progress and was told that he is "just about getting used to his new friend"!

Another couple Enid and Barry, needed some help and ideas as to why a one year old, neutered, male Airedale and an eighteen month old female spayed Labrador were unable to get along. The dogs had been together without any problems whilst the couple were engaged but now they were married and living together the dogs had started to fight, both indoors and outdoors. I explained to Barry and Enid that whilst they were not living together and were visiting each others homes (territory) most probably a few silent growls went unnoticed. Now moving into one home, that of the Airedale, he was not going to be put out of place, I could detect many root causes to their problems and I found that jealousy was paramount, and that both Enid and Barry were each showing more love to "their own" pet, and that their current arguments could, in future, lead to divorce!

In cases like this there is no set formula, other than to cool off the relationship by not allowing the dogs the freedom of the house, keeping them away from the bedrooms, or from furniture and most certainly never feeding them from the table. I recommended that the dogs should be fed separately and that no toys be left lying around on the floor as this could cause a fracas, and certainly not to allow any bones or chews in the home. It is important in cases like this to make certain that pets do not have possession to fight over.

It is also important in cases of jealousy that owners of both cats and dogs quickly learn that it is "their" presence that can trigger off a fight. To simply stroke or touch a dog or cat is sufficient to infect that pet with enough of your scent to cause a fight. I also put much emphasis on the fact that when dogs growl or indeed when cats hiss they should be never be corrected, whatever the circumstances. The animal must learn very quickly that this verbal display will cause owners to walk away and ignore them. Any verbal correction on the part of owners can cause more problems. Our voices actually encourages more aggression.

Back to the subject of Divorce itself. Certainly, as far as our dog is concerned, we are a pack and a fracas within our human pack, or a member leaving, will disturb a dog. So if your human relationship is going through a shaky period, or worse, remember that our pet dogs are unable to ask questions or understand what is going on, and that our personal problems can be a direct cause of behavioural problems in our canine friends.

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Keywords: Dogs, pets, dog supplies, pets supplies, pets store, dog food.

About the Author:
Kevin Lai
Submitted: 2006-09-07
Article Source: GoArticles

Family Concerns with Divorce and Health Insurance

When a married couple decides to divorce, it is a stressful time for everyone. Their children are affected, their family members are affected, and sometimes even their friends are affected. When divorce is the issue, people ideally just want to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible for all parties involved.

Once two people are divorced, they no longer have any ties to each other; unless, of course, they have children together. When two people who have children together decide to divorce, there are many family concerns to deal with. It is best that both parents to handle the family concerns as smoothly as possible to protect the children, because while one of the main family concerns for parents during a divorce is custody, one of the main concerns for children is why their parents are divorcing in the first place.

One way to make sure family concerns are taken care of once a divorce is final is to handle the issue of health insurance for the children before the divorce is final. If both parents have their own health insurance policies, the only decision to make is usually who will take the children under his or her health insurance policy. But if one parent has health insurance and the other does not because he or she was covered under the other’s health insurance, problems can arise.

Unfortunately, in this situation, the spouse with the health insurance policy is not always willing to continue taking care of family concerns that last despite divorce, such as the cost of health care for the children.

If you are the parent without a health insurance policy, make sure you discuss these family concerns with your divorce attorney. Even if you are “sure” the other parent will take care of the cost of health care for the children, it is best to completely cover all grounds before the divorce is final.

About the Author:
Elizabeth Newberry
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Article Submitted On: September 25, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Divorce and Alimony Formula

In divorce, a common question is, "what is the alimony formula". Well, there really is no set alimony formula for divorce. This is in complete contrast to child support, which is decided based upon a specific formulas in each state. Alimony is based on factors and those factors are decided through divorce negotiation or by a divorce judge. But, there is no alimony formula available to your divorce attorney or you to determine in advance what alimony will be paid in your case.

What does a divorce court look at to determine alimony? Those issues do vary by state. But, there are also many alimony factors that are common from state to state. So, although there is no specific alimony formula for you to rely on, there are alimony factors that you can look at to help you determine what the alimony might be in your case.

In divorce, some of the alimony factors that a judge might look at include the following. First is the length of your marriage. If the parties have been married for one year, the court's attitude towards a request for alimony will be very different than if the parties have been married for twenty years. Because the length of marriage varies so much in all divorces, it is not possible to plug this factor into an alimony forumla to determine the alimony amount.

Another factor affecting the award of alimony is employment status. Obviously, if the spouse seeking alimony has been unemployed or underemployed for a number of years to care for young children, the home, or the spouse, that is a factor that will militate in that spouse's favor if he or she is seeking alimony. On the other hand, if that spouse has the ability to obtain employment that will more than adequately meet his or her needs, the court might think a little differently about awarding alimony to that party. Other factors that are considered closely with this factor include level of education, job experience, the age of children in the household, and work history.

A major factor that can affect an award of alimony is the amount of property to be retained or divided by the parties. If the spouse seeking alimony has been a stay at home parent, but will have signifcant assets after divorce or has separate assets, like a trust fund, the court's attitude towards the award of alimony will be affected. The court will certainly view a request for alimony under these circumstances much different than a request made by an individual who is receiving no assets in the divorce or who does not have any separate property.

The health of the party seeking alimony is a major factor that can impact a court's decision in awarding alimony. If the spouse seeking alimony has a debilitating physical condition that impacts whether or how much they can work, the court will not want to impoverish that party after divorce and the court will be more likely to use alimony to address at least basic living needs.

One other factor that should be considered by the divorce court and by the parties, is the taxability of the alimony payments. In most instances, if there is no specific provision to the contrary, spousal support payments are taxable to the recipient and tax deductible to the payor. The tax benefit obtained by spreading out economic wealth in this fashion can be significant and should be discussed in depth with your divorce attorney.

One issue that is not always considered by the court, but should be discussed with your divorce attorney, is that alimony payments are, in general, not dischargeable in bankruptcy. If there is any possibility that the party who is to pay alimony will be filing for bankruptcy, the divorce attorneys will negotiate very hard on both sides to maximize the final benefit to their client in divorce.

It should thus be apparent that in divorce, there can be no easy alimony forumla, no matter what state you live in. It is impossible to plug these and other factors into a mathematical equation to arrive at a "correct" alimony formula. It is necessary that the divorce court, or the divorce attorneys review how these varied and different factors affect both parties in the divorce and then arrive at a solution that encompasses all of the divorce issues, including property settlement and alimony. They cannot simply set up an alimony formula that would work for all parties.

About the author:
Attorney Jean Mahserjian is the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of separation and divorce. To download free excerpts from her family law books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com
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Successful Parenting After Separation

Separation is a challenging time for many parents because it is an adjustment to a new way of life. There are both positive and negative factors to separation and the corresponding changes, but one of the issues that can arise is the differences that parents may have in the ways that they parent the children. The key point or focus that parents need to address is that they must put the best interests of the children first, and that their role is to continue to be the best possible parents to their children, even though they no longer live in the same home.

In order to put the interests of the children first parents that are separated need to consider the following issues, and determine how they can accomplish the goal of putting their kids first and provide love, safety and security for their children.

Communication

Maintaining the lines of communication is critical to continue successfully parenting the children. Many incorrect assumptions are made that the other parent is aware of scheduling changes, school events, outings or other issues affecting the child. Often parents expect children to be the messengers between them, and this is a very difficult and emotionally harmful role for you child to have to play. Parents should discuss and determine a method that will allow them to continue to communicate about the children and to work together to make decisions in the best interests of the kids. This communication may be done by fax, email, voicemail, phone calls or face-to-face meetings, depending on the level of comfort or conflict.

Flexibility

No matter how carefully you plan or schedule your life there are always things that come up out of your control. As parents it is important to realize that this can happen for you, your ex-spouse and your children. Try to be as flexible as possible and allow the other parent and the children to have time together whenever possible.

Joint decision making

If you are able to communicate as coparents it is important to keep in mind that joint decision-making is usually in the best interests of the children. For difficult or major decisions it is helpful to get the other parent's input and opinion to prevent further conflict down the line. Most parents want to be a part of their children's lives even if they don't live in the same home as the children, and using a joint decision making process helps them stay connected to the children and helps to provide a sense of security for the children.

Stay positive about the other parent

It is important to allow the children to have the most positive relationship that they possibly can with both of their parents. The more positive, respectful and civil that Mom and Dad can stay with each other the more comfortable, secure and stable the children will view their new lives. Children need to understand that separated parents are still Mom and Dad, and will still continue to be a part of their lives, even thought they live in different homes or even in different communities.

Keep explanations to children as simple as possible, and avoid any negative comments about the other parent. As separated parents stay flexible, communicate openly about the children and allow maximum contact between your children and the other parent.

About the Author:
Jonathan Brown recommends Divorce Ontario for more information about successsful parenting after separation.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

The Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown divorce teaches us lessons on Financial Lovemaking

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston give Mike Tyson a run for his money in the "Jack up your life in the 90s contest". Chalky lips and all, these two were the poster children for what you don't want your kids to become when they grow up. What was most ironic was that everyone thought that Bobby was corrupting Whitney, who does an amazing "church girl with the raspy voice" imitation. But church girls don't usually know that "crack is whack", and they don't get caught hauling weed onto an airplane. Well, at least she didn't have box cutters and shaving cream; people who smoke weed don't usually have the motivation to hijack an airplane.

They were once young and attractive, now they look old and tired. They were once beautiful songbirds, now they just look like jailbirds. Life is getting harsh for these two, and it could get harsher as the "King of R&B" (haha) and his weed-tottin ex-babymama find themselves on the other side of a nasty divorce.

Besides learning that crack is whack, we can learn other lessons from Whitney's confessions. Drugs and bad relationships have huge personal and financial consequences. As a Finance Professor who teaches students Personal Finance on a regular basis, I thought I would "peep game" and take a quick visit to the Bobby-Whitney School of Life to see what we can all learn from their experience:

Lesson 1: Watch who you decide to marry

The wrong partner may not only ruin you financially, they can also take away other valuable assets beyond money, such as your reputation, well-being and peace of mind. As young as they think they are, their latest pictures show skin of leather and more wrinkles than a wet Barbara Bush. These two people spent the best years of their lives with someone that they may not have wanted to be with. That's more painful than losing cash.

Lesson 2: Determine if your partner has a financial venereal disease

I created a test for the Financial Irresponsibility Virus (FIV). If you or your partner has a positive score, you are FIV positive. Destructive financial habits such as drugs or alcohol make it very easy to become FIV positive. I am not one to say that the drug rumors are true. But if there were drugs in this relationship, that is a quick way to end up in the poor house.

Lesson 3: Size does matter (meaning the size of your partner's bank account) - but too much size can be a pain

Some people are excited to have a mate who is well-endowed (financially), but sometimes you are rewarded on the front end but punished on the back. All that extra bling in their account can dull the shine on your smile when you get out of bed every morning. Your partner should make you wealthy in many ways, not just financially.

Lesson 4: Don't spend your time with an enabler of your financially destructive habits.

If you overeat, overspend, or gamble too much, then it might not make sense to "hook up" with someone who does the same thing. You might be as happy as two pigs in a mud puddle, but when the piper comes to collect payment, the payment will be eternal. Find someone who complements you and improves you, not someone who accentuates the parts of you that happen to be most destructive.

Bobby and Whitney have performed a valuable service. By watching them jack up their lives, it has reminded me that my life is not so bad. Perhaps one day, Bobby will rise back to the top of the charts, and Whitney will once again be cranking out number one hits. Yeah, you're right. Even I thought that last line was funny.

Copyright 2006 Dr. Boyce Watkins

About the Author:
Dr. Boyce Watkins
http://www.myfinanceprofessor.com
http://www.boycewatkins.com
http://www.financiallovemaking.com
Submitted: 2006-09-28
Article Source: GoArticles

Get Your Life Off The Rocks And Back On The Tracks - Learn To Survive Break Ups

With break ups and divorce on the increase in the United States of America and the whole of Europe, there is certainly a massive need of a helping hand to combat the stress that this issue causes. Hypnotherapy is proving itself time and time again in being an effective approach to getting your life back on track, even after the devastation of a relationship break up or divorce. You see, hypnosis deals with the part of your brain that makes you - You! So what can you expect from a Hypnosis session?

Having a session or sessions of Hypnotherapy with a qualified Hypnotherapist will be one of the most memorable times in your life as it will be a major turning point where you take back control of your life.

So many people when they come for Hypnotherapy have so many misconceptions and are sometimes are even a little nervous. Hypnosis' fun and dynamic approach easily allows you to relax and feel comfortable, while allowing you to achieve exactly what you came for.

Over the period of your Hypnotherapy sessions, the Hypnotherapist should actually teach you Self Hypnosis. This is great as you not only have something that allows you to feel secure as you have something to 'fall back on', but you also can use your new found talent at home to speed up your sessions and get fast and easier results.

Break ups can be a very stressful time, so just the Hypnosis alone will benefit you no end, however this combined with specific suggests for your situation will help bring about rapid relief and lasting results. And lets face it - that's all that matters!

If you are suffering at the hands of a break up now, just imagine how great it could be if your pain was gone and you know what to do to make your future bright again. Maybe you will be ready to win the love of your life back or may you will want to move on and find new love.

Remember hypnotherapy can help you work towards a future, which you always wanted but never could dream of achieving after your separation. Remember there is more to life than crying over a break-up. The only way to get out of a relationship is with one's head held high... and it's time you felt it for yourself.

You will be amazed just how quickly you will see the benefits!

About the Author:
Richard MacKenzie is a Pro when it comes to helping people trough Breaks Ups he also have a successful Break Ups Hypnosis Download.
Submitted on 2006-08-28
Article Source: http://www.ArticlesAlley.com/

Divorce: Why Children Need the Love of Both Parents

The divorce papers have been signed, your lives have become separate and it is time to move on. The question is: how much time will the children spend with each parent? As much as you know that your children should have equal time with both parents, you have seen your ex’s behavior one too many times and know this is not good for the children. Or is it?

As long as both parents are offering a safe and loving environment, children will benefit most from having both of them involved in their lives. Even if each parent chooses to parent differently.

Although difficult to see when submerged in it, there are two sides to every story and your story is no different. That is why he has such a different story than she does. Remember that if the two of you were able to see eye to eye on life in general, you would still be together. Also keep in mind that simply because you don’t see things the same doesn't mean one of you is more or less capable of raising your children.

In your heart, even when you know sharing custody is the best thing, your fury of emotions make it difficult to stay focused on what’s best.

Here are some things you can focus on:

1- Your children do need both of you as parents.

2- There are many ways to parent, but the most important part is offering your love.

3- Your children will have a new and different relationship with your ex-spouse.

4- It is not your job to control how he/she parents.

5- Parenting that is different from yours is not bad, just different.

6- Enabling your children to be with your ex-spouse will give you an emotional break you also need.

7- Giving up the desire to control the way your ex-spouse behaves will give you more time to focus on yourself.

8- An absent parent leads to a lifetime of dealing with a missing in ones’ life. One that you don’t want to be responsible for.

The last one on the list is critical. If what you truly want is the best for your children, do the right thing…for them. Even if it means compromising your own emotions and giving up the power to be right. Do it. Do whatever you have to do to have your children experience the love they have from mom and dad. They deserve it and you owe it to them. Allow them to have exactly what you have wanted all of your life...happiness.

About the Author:
Lesley Moore is President and Owner of LifeScope, Life and Executive Coaching. She specializes in working with individuals in transition, empowering them to create a life they love and with professionals to help them bridge the gap between expectation and performance. She is a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in Journalism and has studied coaching through the Mentor Coach Program, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. For more information about Life and Executive Coaching, visit her website at http://www.LifeScopeCoach.com or e-mail her at lessmore4@comcast.net
Article Submitted On: October 26, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Children And Divorce: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children

All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.

As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This "divorce and children" article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn't have children and want to decide what to think about regarding the effects a divorce would have on their children.

This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is the correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children.

As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way.

If you think there's a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There's been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far...if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they'll be affected by a divorce.

How divorce affects children and what you should do if you're staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue.

Here's some things you may want to consider if you're a parent who is staying married just because you have children:

Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children. Often times people use the children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren't really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues.

Before you really take the next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you're really certain you'd get a divorce if you didn't have children.

Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn't the real reason that you aren't getting a divorce.

The 'guilt' referenced above is the guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish.

Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.

Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever. Decide whether or not your children have the resiliency, the intelligence, the emotional health, and the support they'd need to mitigate the adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after the initial shock of the divorce is worked through?

Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like in the immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with the divorce.

Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?"

One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is the feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.

Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create the right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.

Usually, divorce represents the first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce is the best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is the right thing is selfish on your part and is the wrong thing to do to your children... after all, they deserve your best effort!

One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.

© Karl Augustine, 2004

About the Author:
Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" - a resource recommended by professional marriage counselors to their clients. http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/children-and-divorce.htm
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

SEPARATION AND DIVORCE: The TOP 12 MISTAKES a WOMAN SHOULD AVOID when it comes to DIVORCE PLANNING.

A matrimonial divorce settlement is NOT an exact science. If a financial divorce settlement was a straight mathematical equation, we wouldn't need courts and lawyers to resolve matters. Courts are usually required, under Family Law legislation, to take into account a range of factors in deciding who gets what. Too many women settle for a 50% split of the matrimonial property WITHOUT taking into account matters such as significant disparities between what your husband earns and your own weekly /monthly income and any restrictions your age or health might have on your capacity to earn income.

Another mistake is letting the other spouse retain the matrimonial home EVEN IF you have the ability to buy him out. Real estate property has a habit of increasing in value without you having to do anything. If you pass this up and your spouse pays you out then the problem often is that you don't then have enough money to purchase a property of your own. Deposits, stamp duty, legal fees etc. can put buying another home out of your reach. You're left paying out dead money in rent.

While not as common a mistake, some women will seek to keep the matrimonial home when they really CAN'T afford to financially. If buying out your husband's share in the house is going to involve you taking out a big loan, you need to factor in the monthly loan repayments PLUS outgoings such as rates, building insurance, public liability insurance and general maintenance costs. Only then will you know whether or not you can actually afford to keep the house.

Failing to take other matters such as alimony and child support into consideration BEFORE agreeing on a division of the matrimonial property is another problem. These are NOT matters that should be dealt with in isolation.

It is the current value of property that is taken into account - not replacement value. This means that if the family car is worth $10,000, it is often better to keep it. Too many women find themselves needing a vehicle to get the kids to and from school, football training etc. and having to spend twice what the family car was worth just to replace it. The same mistake is sometimes made when it comes to the marital furniture and effects. They are usually secondhand (even if only recently purchased) and therefore are not worth a lot of money. For example, the fridge that you paid $1,000 for new may now only worth a few hundred dollars. Keeing the bulk of the furniture (if it is in good condition) will avoid you having to pay a lot more money to replace it.

Property settlements may sometimes be amicable but this does not mean they are fair. Do not accept the inflated financial values your husband is likely to put on property that you want to keep and the low value he's likely to put on any property he actually wants to keep.

It is surprising to find women (and sometimes men) arguing over the little things. By this I mean, fighting for items of little financial worth. It's pointless paying hundreds of dollars in legal fees disputing who is going to get a $50 wedding vase or a $150 stamp collection.

Another mistake is overlooking other assets such as boats, trailers, machinery, pensions, retirement funds, stocks, shares and life insurance as matrimonial property and/or financial resources.

Too many women believe that if they go "soft" on their property settlement entitlements, their husband will be easier to deal with as regards the children. This approach rarely produces the desired result. The only real outcome usually is that your spouse perceives you to be weak.

Another very common mistake is seeking divorce financial planning advice from a lawyer instead of a financial planner. What do lawyers know about financial planning?

Some women get sucked into believing that by reaching an informal agreement with their husband that is legally binding. It isn't - even if it's written down and both parties have signed it.

Finally, too many women simply give in to their husband because that's what they've always done. Now is the time to stand up for your self. You are facing separation and divorce, which means that more than ever before, you need to be primarily concerned with your financial future!

© Barry J. Roche

About the Author:
Barry Roche the author of the ebook, "How To Win When Facing Divorce". He is a former Divorce Lawyer who wrote this book specially for women - available at www.divorceandwomen.com/help.html
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

How to avoid divorce.

As you may know, the divorce rate in the USA these days is around 50%.

That's right, on average, one of out every two couples that marries will no longer be together "until death do they part". How do you think it might change weddings if the people involved realized that, without serious effort, there was a 50% chance that that couple would wind up so miserable that they would regret the wedding they now eagerly plan together?

How tragic! Many couples in the later stages of their marriage think to themselves, "If only we could bring back that love and romance, do away with the problems, and stay together and avoid divorce, we could be happy again." Yet no matter how much they try to "make things better", it often doesn't end up working.

Was the relationship prone to failure from the beginning, or did one person or the other just give up somewhere along the way? Sometimes, these questions will never be answered fully, but the good news is that many times, a divorce can be avoided - even up to 90% of the time where it is in a crisis stage. While the list of tips below isn't always a surefire way to resolve everything, if you apply them to your marriage, it may be the difference between a life of love forever, or a sad, $20,000 divorce.

1) Avoid divorce by admitting your fault.

This is a really hard one. No one likes to admit they are wrong -especially if they don't even feel that they are! Sometimes, however, we are so rooted in our personal view of the situation that we can't stop, take a step back, and realize where we ourselves are to blame for the problems at hand. Some of the most powerful words in a relationship are a genuine "I'm sorry."

Many times when you honestly apologize for something that's gone wrong, even if you yourself feel that you are mostly right, you will find your spouse may be more receptive to what you have to say, or may even admit fault as well, leading to healing, conflict resolution, and mending a hard time.

2) Avoid divorce by avoiding fights over small problems.

Marriage in a way is a higher calling to be intimate with another person - and part of this means both seeing their major and minor flaws, and consciously choosing to overlook some of them. No one's perfect. That includes you :) The more you can overlook the other person's small flaws, the better. Sure, it might not always be the easiest thing to do, but if you set your mind to it, you really can do it!

Maybe your spouse has a bad habit of _____. You could choose to be annoyed about it. Or, you could choose to sit down, talk to them, tell them your worries, and then work out a compromise. Or even better, you could choose to ignore it, because, chances are, they're ignoring something about YOU that irritates THEM too! Forgive and forget, and overlook all but the biggest problems, and you'll save yourself endless hours of fighting over the stupidest things.

3) Avoid divorce by being sensitive to the others' needs.

One of the root causes of problems in life as well as marriage is selfishness. We find the other person is not attending to our needs as we wish, for some reason, so we grow defensive, and find we have to protect our views - sometimes at the other's expense - and thus it becomes a war of selfishness, each person feeling that they can't let down their guard, else the other person might "get their way" and get what they want instead of give it to us.

This is totally wrong! Any relationship based on one's self rather than the other is doomed to fail. Instead, be mature, even if the other person is not, and extend genuine love and attention to their needs. Sometimes their needs might not be what you think they are, so if you are unsure, feel free to ask them! No one ever rejected a question like "How I can I better meet your needs and make you happy?" Only when you are taking strides to make sure the other is happy can you break down those defensive walls of selfishness.

These are just some of the tips that scratch the surface of avoiding divorce. The true solution to keeping your marriage happy is simply to find the other person's needs - in all areas, and do your best to meet them, regardless of if your own are being met. Give it time, give it faith, and all will fall into place.

About The Author:
Joshua is a researcher about love, marriage, and relationships. If your marriage is in danger or you just feel like things are hopeless, Joshua recommends savethemarriage.com, where crisis marriages are saved 90% of the time, and love can be restored to hurting hearts.
Save your marriage.
Submitted: 2006-10-06
Article Source: GoArticles

Quiz Yourself - Will You Survive A Break-Up?

'I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking up.' This is a typical statement from a person facing break-up. How to survive after a break-up? Will you survive a break-up? Why not quiz yourself about it?

The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.

The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will non stop think about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?

The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?

About the Author:
The author, C.D.Mohatta writes articles on love and dating and also on marriage and break-ups for both him and her. The author writes for free ecards on holidays, birthday, love, friendship, family and all events and occasions. One more site recommended by the author has free arcade games which surfers can play online.
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com

Six Tips On How To Survive Your Divorce From My Personal Experience

Tip 1 Don’t try and get over your partner in the arms of another person.

When my wife left me I was fortunate to be going to a church and took the time to see the pastor about the separation. My pastor told me that I should not enter into any relationship for at least two years. He told me that this was for a number of reasons.

i. It was best for my wife that I spend a number of years single so as to give her an opportunity to come back to me. Out of respect he advised that even though she was already in a new relationship that it always took one partner to stay single to give an opportunity for the estranged partner to return. He told me to pray for her to come back and wait at least two years for her to come back.

ii. It was best for me to have a couple of years being single not only to get a handle on my emotions but to give me time to heal. He said it was essential for me to deal with the issues that were wrong in my marriage and to draw closer to God before I entered into another relationship.

iii. It was best for any future partner that I had dealt with my inner demons before I started to go out with them. So many marriages are formed from desperation and loneliness in both the people that join rather than happy single people joining. The pastor told me that my future partner deserved a healed and whole partner and that could only be achieved if I took the time to work on myself. He pointed out that if I rushed into another relationship that it was not love for my future partner but selfishness and a lacking in me that had propelled it.

I took my pastor’s advice and during the next few years grew a lot closer to Jesus Christ in a lot of study and personal experience with Him. Now it’s fourteen years later and I have only had one other significant relationship in that time and am very close to God. I have now decided to remain single so I can serve God more fully in the future as a single man. I am very happy in my decision and in a very good state emotionally in that area of my life.

Tip 2 Try and remember the good times in your marriage rather then the bad.

You can cut yourself to pieces running over and over the bad things in your marriage in your mind. Thinking constantly on these things will destroy you and pull you into a bad depression that will take, in many cases, medication to get out of.

You had some good times in your marriage. You went to some romantic places and had some wonderful times together in each others arms. There were restaurants and memorable embraces and kisses and times between the sheets. It is not dirty to think on these good things and it is not wrong to remember these things.

You will smell aftershaves on other men that remind you of your former partner if you are a woman. Don’t dismiss the memory of the man you loved when this happens in the future, take the time to think about the good times when this makes you think about your partner.

You will hear a song on the radio that reminds you of your partner. Don’t turn the radio off, listen to the song and let the tears flow if they must. Your partner will always be a part of you. Don’t think a court decision and a piece of paper that signifies your divorce will stop the songs from playing and the memories from catching you off guard.

Let me tell you the memories will come for years and years. It is better that you switch from thinking about the bad times in these instances and think about the positive things. This will help you to know and will help you through the years to come.

Tip 3 Try not to speak badly too often about your former partner.

Speaking bad about your former partner does not often hurt him. Often the only person it is hurting is you as you dredge it up again. There is a time where we have to get things off our chest, then there is a time where we have to put the hurts away once and for all and talk about the future and the possibilities of new love and romances.

Sure, your partner hurt you. My partner put me in a psychiatric ward with a nervous breakdown after two weeks without sleep. This was done with many phone calls and some very clever witchcraft. This was a very sad thing and now I suffer from both Bipolar and Schizophrenia which both give me a lot of grief, yet my wife was only doing what she felt she needed to do and I have forgiven her for this.

Many of you have been hurt more then me. It is so hard not to speak badly and confess the things that your partner did to you, but you need to learn to speak of the good things he or she did too, and you need to learn the lessons that these bad things taught you or else you will find the same thing happening with future partners.

Remember you married a person that you once loved. You shared some good times together. Your partner might not be as strong as you and the last thing that they need is for the whole world to know how bad that they are. You knew them first hand and you know a lot of their faults that no one else gets to see in day to day life. Try and keep that close to your chest as best you can.

My wife had a spirit that she used to take me down. Some people might call it a spirit guide. In the process of what she did to me I learned quite a lot about this spirit called the Jezabel spirit. Armed with this knowledge my wife had done me a great favour when I encountered other females in my future with this same spirit helping them to try and destroy me and render me ineffective in ministry. I look back fondly at my wife’s assault on me now and appreciate her for the wisdom she gave me about the ways and practices of the Jezabel spirit.

You see people, I can speak of a very traumatic experience in my life that resulted in me having two mental illnesses and put a positive spin on it and make this wife of my youth look like a hero.

We all like a movie with a positive ending. Try and think of the bad things that happened to you and learn the lessons that you need to learn from them. Then as you figure out the lesson you learned, learn then to speak about how your former partner did you a favour in teaching you that. Make your bad ending of your marriage a positive ending, so much so that in the future you can speak fondly of your former partner and the lessons his bad behavior taught you.

Tip 4 Learn to forgive by walking in your partner’s shoes.

Forgiveness in a very touchy issue. People might simply stop reading now that I have brought it up. But bear with me.

A month after I was separated I was talking with my wife’s best friend and the friend was trying to convince me that I did not want my wife back. She was having a hard time convincing me so she told me some truth that I didn’t know. She told me that on five occasions that she knew of, my wife had slept with other men while I was with her. I was shocked and asked questions and she went into a lot of detail about each of the encounters. She told me all of this because she loved me and respected me and honestly wanted me to move on with my life and not to try and pursue my wife, her best friend anymore.

I got off the phone and wept. How could my wife do that?

Out of respect for my wife’s best friend who had told me, I never brought the subject up with my wife to betray her confidence in me, but I was hurt deeply inside as I knew some of the times my wife played around she had came home and made love to me also. The thought of that disgusted me and I felt like I had been really disrespected.

The only way I was able to forgive that was to come into knowledge of how my wife was feeling when she was doing it. It was obvious to me that I was simply not good enough for my wife. Somehow my wife needed constant affirmation that she was beautiful and attractive and worthy of love. She found this in the arms of other men who were only too happy to take her to bed. And who could blame these guys? My wife had rich olive skin, dark brown eyes and a nice body that most men would find attractive. She was a fun sort of girl and enjoyed herself in bed, a fine kisser and very seductive when she wanted to be.

I was heartbroken but how could I blame the guys? Most of them weren’t even told that she was married and simply thought they were scoring a night with a twenty year old girl who was keen to be with them.

And how could I blame Sharryn, my wife? If I was not enough for her, if I didn’t make her feel fulfilled as a women, a wife and a mother, how could I blame her for going other places to find excitement? And that’s the sad truth about many affairs that I had to come to grips with and perhaps you might have to come to grips with. Sometimes we simply are not good enough to keep our partners in only our bed.

Of course it wasn’t all my fault. I was doing my best as a husband but I simply was not living up to what she had married. Sharryn had a problem and it is that problem that I focused on in order to find the place in my heart so that I could forgive her. I had to see it in her shoes. I found out about her in books about sexual abuse victims of which my wife was one.

So take the time to try and understand why your partner did that bad things in your marriage. You need to understand why they did what they did so that you can forgive them. And you need to forgive them or else you will walk around really bitter and this will hurt you for many years to come.

Even whilst in agony on the cross, Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”

What a man hey?

Jesus was totally innocent. He was a man of love. And just like us he was hurt, beaten and mistreated. And yet in the midst of his agony and just before he died he asked God to forgive all the people who had put him on the cross and all the people that were laughing at him at the foot of the cross.

He forgave you for all your wrong doings on that day. That is the essence of the Christian faith and you can write to me for more information about that if you like.

So if Jesus forgave you on that cross, can’t you forgive your former partner?

Take the time and get to the bottom of why your partner did what they did. This will not only help you in your life in the future, but it will also help you become a better partner in the future.

Tip 5 Don’t fight with your partner though the divorce.

People die and everyone goes to a funeral and they say all these good things about the person and there are many tears that abound. There are many regrets when some people die suddenly as many loved ones didn’t get the chance to say things to the departed that they wanted to say.

Yet a marriage dies and so many people fight like two dogs in an illegal dog fight. The friends take sides and the fight gets really ugly. A fortune is spent in law courts and people say such terrible things about their partners in official documents.

My wife lied 19 times in her affidavit for the custody of my child. Some of the things that she said about me were very hurtful and I did not like judges, lawyers and people reading that affidavit with all those lies about me.

Yet this is the case many times in divorce courts. Many hurtful things are said on paper and are on record before strangers. It’s disgusting and even more disgusting if the parties are supposed to be born again Christians.

God spoke quite clearly in the prophet Malachi when He said, “I hate divorce.”

A better way is not to fight. You can only have a fight when both people are fighting. If one person refuses to fight then the other person does not get as much satisfaction. I prepared and affidavit that addressed all of the 19 lies and showed how they were not true and then a judge in my taxi cab as a customer told me that my wife would be possibly put in prison if that affidavit was presented in court.

I was struggling whether I should clear my name from the lies of my wife in my affidavit or change it and just accept the lies going down on record in the court when I had another passenger jump in my taxi. He spent 45 minutes asking me about all my life and giving me a few scripture verses that answered each situation that I talked about. He had me in tears and by the time he left my taxi I was really happy and I had all the answers I needed, I was not going to fight.

A minute after he left my cab and went into the airport I followed him to thank him and I looked everywhere in that airport. And believe me I searched everywhere and he had disappeared. To this day I know he was an angel sent to me with a message. I have since spoken to Jesus and he has told my in my spirit that indeed it was angel.

And the angel’s message?

Don’t fight with your partner!

Tip 6 Always hold a special place in your heart for your former partner.

Your prayer life, your Christian life and even if you are not a Christian, your life will be a whole lot better if you continue to keep good thoughts about your former partner, and keep a special place in your heart for them.

My wife is my hero, she was my first love, she made me very happy and she gave me a wonderful son that I am very proud of. My Sharryn was a champion and gave me many happy days and nights. Losing her sent me into a path toward God that has just got better and better over the years.

She is always in my prayers and I always pray for her marriage. Though she got dirty and stopped me seeing my son seven years ago, I still know she had her marriage and my son’s interests in mind when she made the decision. If a person is hurting and has had a bad upbringing and been hurt by her step father and her mother you have to cut them a bit of slack. I address my reasons why I stopped seeing my son in another article.

It’s best, if you have children to keep a little love in your heart for your former partner. Love always makes things easier. So you can’t bear to live with your partner anymore, that’s fine, but love them from a distance. Feel sorry for them if you must, but keep the love for them burning in a special hidden place in your heart. Pray for them and treat them as nice as you can. Perhaps your love for them will be like after sales service.

We all love a company to treat us nice after we have already bought their product. That sort of company has us going back to them time and time again. The way you treat your former partner through the divorce and years to come can have a great effect on them and even give them the courage to change.

In closing, let me pray for you.

Father in heaven,

I pray that this article has made sense to the reader. I pray that they realize that I did not write this for profit or for me to make any money of me to benefit in any way. Father I pray that they might read this and re-read this and take on board my 6 tips and apply them to their life. Father I ask that you tend to their hearts and that you give them good opportunities to purge their pain and talk about their hurt in constructive ways over the coming years. I ask that you bring healing to their lives, bring good friendships and much love into their life. I pray you lead them to the right books, the right films and the right sermons or talks that they need to hear. Let them heal and let them laugh and have them be able to speak about the hurt in the future and bring encouragement to other people’s lives.

If they do not know you as their God, I pray that you might speak into their life more and more though people they know already and people they might know in the future. I pray that you take them by the hand and bring forth a good destiny for all people that read this prayer.

In Jesus name I ask.

Amen

God bless you guys. Please write to me at my email address below if you have any questions.

About The Author:
Matthew Robert Payne shares his faith on the streets of Sydney through conventional evangelism and prophetic evangelism, he preaches sometimes at the churches he attends, and is part of an online prayer website where he prays for people online at http://www.online-prayer.net
He writes articles here each week when he gets the time and would love to hear from you if you have a question for him.
Article Submitted On: October 22, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/