How to avoid divorce.

As you may know, the divorce rate in the USA these days is around 50%.

That's right, on average, one of out every two couples that marries will no longer be together "until death do they part". How do you think it might change weddings if the people involved realized that, without serious effort, there was a 50% chance that that couple would wind up so miserable that they would regret the wedding they now eagerly plan together?

How tragic! Many couples in the later stages of their marriage think to themselves, "If only we could bring back that love and romance, do away with the problems, and stay together and avoid divorce, we could be happy again." Yet no matter how much they try to "make things better", it often doesn't end up working.

Was the relationship prone to failure from the beginning, or did one person or the other just give up somewhere along the way? Sometimes, these questions will never be answered fully, but the good news is that many times, a divorce can be avoided - even up to 90% of the time where it is in a crisis stage. While the list of tips below isn't always a surefire way to resolve everything, if you apply them to your marriage, it may be the difference between a life of love forever, or a sad, $20,000 divorce.

1) Avoid divorce by admitting your fault.

This is a really hard one. No one likes to admit they are wrong -especially if they don't even feel that they are! Sometimes, however, we are so rooted in our personal view of the situation that we can't stop, take a step back, and realize where we ourselves are to blame for the problems at hand. Some of the most powerful words in a relationship are a genuine "I'm sorry."

Many times when you honestly apologize for something that's gone wrong, even if you yourself feel that you are mostly right, you will find your spouse may be more receptive to what you have to say, or may even admit fault as well, leading to healing, conflict resolution, and mending a hard time.

2) Avoid divorce by avoiding fights over small problems.

Marriage in a way is a higher calling to be intimate with another person - and part of this means both seeing their major and minor flaws, and consciously choosing to overlook some of them. No one's perfect. That includes you :) The more you can overlook the other person's small flaws, the better. Sure, it might not always be the easiest thing to do, but if you set your mind to it, you really can do it!

Maybe your spouse has a bad habit of _____. You could choose to be annoyed about it. Or, you could choose to sit down, talk to them, tell them your worries, and then work out a compromise. Or even better, you could choose to ignore it, because, chances are, they're ignoring something about YOU that irritates THEM too! Forgive and forget, and overlook all but the biggest problems, and you'll save yourself endless hours of fighting over the stupidest things.

3) Avoid divorce by being sensitive to the others' needs.

One of the root causes of problems in life as well as marriage is selfishness. We find the other person is not attending to our needs as we wish, for some reason, so we grow defensive, and find we have to protect our views - sometimes at the other's expense - and thus it becomes a war of selfishness, each person feeling that they can't let down their guard, else the other person might "get their way" and get what they want instead of give it to us.

This is totally wrong! Any relationship based on one's self rather than the other is doomed to fail. Instead, be mature, even if the other person is not, and extend genuine love and attention to their needs. Sometimes their needs might not be what you think they are, so if you are unsure, feel free to ask them! No one ever rejected a question like "How I can I better meet your needs and make you happy?" Only when you are taking strides to make sure the other is happy can you break down those defensive walls of selfishness.

These are just some of the tips that scratch the surface of avoiding divorce. The true solution to keeping your marriage happy is simply to find the other person's needs - in all areas, and do your best to meet them, regardless of if your own are being met. Give it time, give it faith, and all will fall into place.

About The Author:
Joshua is a researcher about love, marriage, and relationships. If your marriage is in danger or you just feel like things are hopeless, Joshua recommends savethemarriage.com, where crisis marriages are saved 90% of the time, and love can be restored to hurting hearts.
Save your marriage.
Submitted: 2006-10-06
Article Source: GoArticles