Divorce and Debt Unite in Solidarity

Divorce and debt, both start with D, coincidence? To find out, read on. Many of us pile on the debt faster then food at the buffet table but we are not able to get rid of it as quickly. The debt sits there and like food it slowly starts to rot away but in this case it starts to rot away our relationships. Maybe this sound familiar, “Hey can we get a new chair for the living room?” You bark back, ”The one we have is just fine.” The volume just keeps going up from there and a week later you don’t remember why you are still fighting, just that this time you are going to win. What really happened there? You know the chair is long past being fine. You also know you’re barely making payments on your debt load. It is like a subconscious trigger someone says, “spend” and you flip because the added stress of your second job has started to wear away at your confidence as a provider. You can’t continue to go on like this.

Financial stress is reported to be a top reason for divorce. I firmly believe from working with couples for many years in my practice that this is a fact. Many people have an aversion to facing what their real problems are. Instead they refer the pain of the debt situation onto something less threatening for them. It creates havoc in relationships. It does not matter if it is your marriage, dating, parents, family or friends. When money troubles get in there, first it is hard to get rid of them and second it normally causes some permanent scaring and the relationships normally drift apart.

What can you do? It can seem complicated and each situation is always unique and a few rules normally apply to everyone.

1.Take a deep breath, slow down, get a grip and be nice to yourself. There are forces in the world designed to get you to spend every penny you have and every penny you can borrow.

2. Get over the fact you have overspent. The “Joneses” have gone bankrupt years ago, so don’t go and join them. Just because we are all taught to keep up with them doesn’t make it right or smart.

3. Pay close attention to how you satisfy yourself when you feel down. Do you spend money to make yourself try to feel better? If so, and it likely is, find things to do that help and don’t cost money. I learned this when I traveled to 50 countries in 12 years. That costs a lot of money, so when I was able to do things for free I found them and did them.

4. Sit down with your partner and lay it out on the table, the good, the bad and the ugly. Generals in a war want all the information they can get, that way they can make a plan to win. If it can work in a war, it can work in a more normal situation also. Assemble the facts and develop a winning strategy.

5. After getting some help; either from books, credit counselors, WRITE IT OUT!! You and your partner agree on it and follow it like it is going to save your relationship, because it likely will. If you are normal somewhere during the debt recovery process you will want to go on a spending binge, refer to #3 and hold off. I promise you once you have lived a while debt free and start gaining wealth you won’t want to go back to your days of debt and you may never experience the pain of divorce. Be smart to be wealthy.

About the Author:
Alan Jenks
Did you find those tips on debt elimination useful? You can learn a lot more about how debt elimination can help you reduce debt here.
Article Submitted On: October 20, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/